Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing, "If You're Happy and You Know It." My mom joined in. They sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML
Today, I was introducing my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. I meant to say, "Mom, Dad, this is Tom." Instead, I said, "Mom, Dad, this is Mom." My boyfriend is now jokingly reconsidering our relationship, and my parents won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, while I was sitting in the living room with my mother, my phone rang. She immediately exclaimed, "I'm not calling you! Why is it going off?" She was serious. My own mother doesn't believe people talk to me. FML
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
Today, my mom called me to tell me she'd got in touch with my ex for his birthday, and that the two of them had made a plan for us to get back together. My new boyfriend was in the process of proposing to me. FML
Today, I went to a surprise birthday party for a friend. Everyone was hiding and waiting to yell "Surprise!" when I got a call from my mom. I was loudly discussing family gossip and trying to get my mom to hang up when the door opened. Everyone yelled "Surprise!" and then turned to stare at me. FML
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Top comments
nel15 0
hahahahaha your mom is hilarious....relax, it was just a joke.
purple990 0
thats awsome they're the cooloest people ever to hang out with, and at least your momma and boyfriend dont hate each other, geez be grateful
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Comments (153)
Ziltiod94 0
thats a ****** up mom and boyfriend
ChrisWasHere 0
No, it's actually not ****** up. At least you have a boyfriend.
bekahshae 0
Oh come on, shut up. It's a joke. I could definitely see my mom doing that with my boyfriend. I'm expecting this was a joke but she wanted attention/to get on FML so she wrote it out here, minus her laughing as well.
jackalope104 0
I dont think it's messed up. I find it pretty hilarious :)
lmmmr 0
This would only bother you if you were already feeling insecure about having no friends. If that's the case, FYL for people close to you rubbing your nose in it. If not, then STFU and take a joke.
jasmine1259 2
yeah seriously its just a joke. most of the fmls here are meant to make ppl laugh they're not actually all horrible things that happened to someone
puhffft 0
Are you kidding? That's hilarious!
neonokku 0
It depends of you acutally have friends or not
Ziltiod94 0
it just seems like a weird joke. its an insulting joke and also who would want a boyfriend who makes fun of them in that way
Aries327 0
you should kick him in the nuts, and her in the lips!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not cool.
loveyoy22 0
haha omg I lold
vballerlover07 0
FAVORITED! :)
Dimercurio 1
"Today, someone made a harmless joke at my expense, FML". How about pull the stick out of your ass.
My2864 1
no its not ****** up.. jesus ******* christ have a sence of humor..
Andicc 19
Your profile pic is the background on my phone. This is totally irrelevant to this FML, but Maynard, is a god.
weezypanda420 22
At lease the mom and boyfriend get along. They could hate each other.. Also at least you have a boyfriend. Hard to do if you're a social outcast.
soninlaw2be 0
soooo ****** up
MysteryJoker 5
Might be ****** up but you know your laughing your ass off lol
metalboxzes 0
haha at least your mom and boyfriend get along:)
TheiMightyKhaL 2
Hey moms a bitch
nel15 0
hahahahaha your mom is hilarious....relax, it was just a joke.
A_Guy 0
It was just a joke, relax. You have a bf so it can't be THAT bad
seb12992 0
I wish my mom were like that. Actually that sounds like something my mom would do. Be happy your mom has a nice since of humor OP.
DanielleWolf 0
agreed
jet_fml 0
Hopefully it was just a joke that you're taking badly... otherwise your mom and boyfriend are mildly douchey.
purple990 0
thats awsome they're the cooloest people ever to hang out with, and at least your momma and boyfriend dont hate each other, geez be grateful
skippydoda 32
Well look on the bright side, at least they get along
Jeniya_02 0
Damn, that's sad.
BLNovelist 0
Methinks somebody isn't getting sex for at least a week.. sucks for you OP. :/ FYL.
Imawhalerider 0
BURN!
STVader 0
YDI for having the social ability to bag a boyfriend but not having enough to get some real friends...