Today, I had to call out of work because I was ill, but they didn't believe me because today was the day I was supposed to come back from vacation. Now I'm stuck at work, constantly running to the bathroom, and they still won't let me go home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML
Today, after I've been sick all week, but still coming in to work (I'm not contagious) because I know that we're short staffed, I sucked it up and came in again, only to find out 3 other employees called in because they're hungover. Now I have to do my job and theirs. FML
Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML
Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML
Today, I was once again called into work on my day off after someone called in sick. All I want is one day where I get to stay home. Please. FML
Today, I called in sick to my job. I'm already on shaky ground there, but I was honestly sick. I happened to call in during the mandatory departmental meeting. Apparently, I was supposed to go in a half-hour early. I called in thirty minutes late, during a required meeting. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was sick, so I went into work to see if I could get my shift covered, instead of just calling in. I ended up working an extra hour. FML
Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML
Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML
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Top comments
skippydoda 32
I would throw up at my desk and let the office stink of my vomit. I hope you feel better soon OP.
Aurora_BoreaIis 7
That's pretty crappy. :c
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Comments (13)
Aurora_BoreaIis 7
That's pretty crappy. :c
skippydoda 32
I would throw up at my desk and let the office stink of my vomit. I hope you feel better soon OP.
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like a shitty job.
Tripartita 45
Looks like urine trouble. Whoops, that's not quite it. These cliché puns aren't as easy as I thought they'd be!
Cali 57
You're doing a fine job, Tripartita!
jcash52426 5
You should crap yourself so they let you go home
rivenrock 14
Touch everything. They deserve to catch it.
vcapelo 19
How can they decide? Get a doctors note and leave!
runswithlions 3
I'd leave anyway and grab a doctor's note for sure. With proof of the urgency of your situation from a doctor covers your butt from being fired while giving you time to get yourself back to good health. Health comes first!
Molly Ann McIlvain 5
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I poop on company time!! Hey at least you're getting paid but feel better soon
AlchemistKen 4
Take pictures of your bowel movements for them.