Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents, who I haven't known very long. I ended up falling asleep. That doesn't sound so bad, until I woke my drooling self up by snoring extremely loud. FML
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was washing my face and I started rinsing the soap off my face with my eyes closed when I felt something gooey on my face. I opened my eyes to realize I had been rubbing snot on my face from when water got up my nose and apparently snot came down with it. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day. I woke up to find that I’d been drooling onto the shoulder of the stranger next to me for at least three stops. He said nothing, but when I stood up, there was a wet patch shaped like my face on his sleeve. FML
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Top comments
tukker 0
I saw this going a different direction when i was reading it...
vampirate 0
ULTIMATE. WET WILLIE.
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Comments (67)
saraa_c 0
that's gross ...
wiserman 0
better drool than spooge. just saying.
FarSide 23
YDI for having a loose ear canal.
Ootori 0
hahahahahahahahaha
hornetchik 0
Lol thats a bit gross, but I dribble in my sleep as well!
Starchild21 3
Do you slobber all over your boyfriend's ear too? ____________________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
CherryCupcakes 0
That's kinda ew.
_Noon_ 0
It kinda is.
renizzle 0
LMAO sorry thats hilerious!
DoomJeff91 2
I have a mule and her name is Sal, 15 miles on the ear canal!
Starchild21 3
Cat I'm a kitty cat and I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance. Cat I'm a kitty cat and I meow meow meow and I meow meow meow ___________________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99
tukker 0
I saw this going a different direction when i was reading it...
atomicmrpelly 2
I knoooow! Bathos!
jwallukwizard2 0
same here
vampirate 0
ULTIMATE. WET WILLIE.
Mmbop 0
...WHAT was he dreaming about?
jonny2x4 0
Was he dreaming about bacon? Bacon is the solution to most of life's problems, you know.
Plumppotato 3
sucks for jews. hahaha i make pork joke. but in all seriousness, poor jews. and other religions that adhere to specific diets. and vegetarians. not because they cant have bacon, but because i feel sorry for them in general.
grrrarrrg2 2
#10 you are by far the smartest man to ever post on FML!
hannah_elizabeth_fml 7
of course!
AKBIGCAL 0
haha, I so thought you were gunna say he was standing above you and had just finished wackin off, but dats still pretty funny...
nolimits 0
That ain't drool shweethawt!