Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML
Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML
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Top comments
xXshadowrollerXx 6
Your pussy is out of control.
flockz 20
sorry i hate beiing the grammar nazi but *onslaught
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Comments (237)
stun23 8
owwwwwwwww
eminemchick 19
cats are a strange kind.. but i might do the same on a bad dayxD
sup_bitch 0
dude that pussy just ****** you up
blackberry90210 0
Do you have particularly bad acne? perhaps he mistook your skin for a scratching post.
sweetcheeksjvl 0
I'd throw that cat out the window.
sweetcheeksjvl 0
I'd throw that cat out the window.
L3Paparazzo 7
no joke that happened to my sister .
ImmortalKratos 0
and you would keep a pet like that why?!?! I think he needs to take a trip to the vet...and not come back
MizzErikaHart 8
too many cat FMLs lately
whybother8 0
how does a cat warn u?
CaptinObvious467_fml 2
****** pussy
DoWorkBro 4
get a new cat
chuckychan 8
maybe he is telling you its time to shave
NastyNinja31 0
dat was a pussy move
chuckychan 8
your pussy needs to loosen up? relax?
ravensunnyd 0
awwwwww how cute
chlorinegreen 27
I think the cat hissing at you was you're warning.
blaherman 12
declaw
eb0ny 15
Were you looking into his eyes? when other animals - like you - maintain eye contact for a while they take it as a threat.
xXshadowrollerXx 6
Your pussy is out of control.
randiZ25 0
here comes the on slot of lame pussy jokes....
flockz 20
sorry i hate beiing the grammar nazi but *onslaught
HouseKeeping 0
I wonder how big a pussy has to be to do that to someones head
moosemonkey1000 6
Being*
iEnvade 2
Hey 26, you hate beiing the grammar nazi, huh?
xXshadowrollerXx 6
Yeah, sorry 19, I did not expect to create a revolution.
flockz 20
44- yes i do... so what do you *invade? :)
DoubleRainbows 1
******* be bitches when they have PMS
YacL 15
Whoa, now, let's not start a grammar war here. Or start with those pussy jokes.
denbeste 3
#2 FAIL. not even funny. try harder. kthxbai!
krissy707 4
it's being not beiing
flockz 20
^^^ thanks i got that but i have seriously lost all interest.
FreebirdIII 1
And now I have that song stuck in my head. Aahhh Pussy Control! Make it stop!!!
Carebear423 0
#8, I think we got the hint.
ahhhFYL 0
stop trying to seduce the pussy
HippyKat13 7
first of all, I'M FIRST! and second, my cat does that with my feet! D:
volley4eva1698 0
first of all, no one cares if ur first. second of all, you're not first. and third of all cool story..?
hiyourcute 0
I love mods. Sirin, is that you?
kendallwendall 0
no words would've been even better!
YacL 15
Is it just me or does anyone else find it the least bit irritating when someone says "kthaxbai!"?
HouseKeeping 0
I hate it. a lot.
wrigleys 4
i had to look that up, makes sense now, but i thought he just accidentally stepped on the keyboard or something and ignored it. oh and yh, i totally despise it now that i know what it is :D
hellogoodbye1996 6
93- I hate that too. what you can't say 'okay, thanks, bye.' it's not that hard.
sheethapins 13
102 I like that song. You need pussy control.
rhpsfan9 10
# 12 that's just sick and wrong. I know you are trying to be funny but it's not.
modelmefamous 0
my dog does the same to me. your pussys just out of control.
modelmefamous 0
when I commented this I did not see the second comment just an FYI.
JacksonCampbell 9
You're hot, so don't worry about it.
BayouBoy21 0
its ok you're hot i forgive you
btnhdude 0
comment moderated.
kirbsterrr 5
Your picture looks a lot like Julianne Hough.. oh wait, it is.
ProhibitionRose 14
^owned.
OceanBreathesSal 5
haha I looked her up and went to images. and guess what i saw that same picture. wow whats the point of posting a fake picture?
CountryBoy1993 0
hey girl wats up where r u from
modelmefamous 0
no you guys sound dumb, I never said that was me in the picture.
xXshadowrollerXx 6
202, you're really pathetic. Last night, I looked at your bio and it clearly said, "Yes that is me in the picture :]", and I'm sure many others saw it too. And now you're trying to cover up your lies by deleting that from your bio? You truly are the definition of fail.
boomsl4ng 11
idd! saw that too sone time ago!!! fail!!! oh btw fyl!
axemandackman 0
How do you know it's not her?
worldcupcheer17 0
I'm not saying you guys are wrong, but it doesn't say on her profile that it actually was her, maybe she just likes juliana hough?
zipitgood 0
whip that cats ass.
JesusFishTaco 5
Get out the cat's wet food, put it in a bowl, then put it up and down to torment the cat with the savory meal before it. that'll show the cat.
Poopolicious 5
stop trying to make a move on your cat with your eyes... :(
Carebear423 0
^ animal abuse.
JesusFishTaco 5
Yeah, poopolicious, stop abusing animals. >_> heh heh heh
astrotacohead 0
or bite it
franticravyn 7
Leave your cat alone for a few days... it might be stressed out.
hellokat1 0
May I ask what would stress out a cat?
franticravyn 7
1. not enough attention 2. too much attention... or they just have a moody cat.
salvorican 24
Is that why my cat pisses on my bed and rubs her ass on my couches?
AlterrOnmi 0
naw it's just being a bitch :/
salvorican 24
I've taken her to the vet for urinary tract infections before. She got better and stopped peeing on beds. But then she moved on to peeing on the couch.. She's spoiled so I don't understand why she's like that
simonisnotacat 4
try not spoiling it. if it pisses on the couch again, lightly smack it in the nose. that tends to do the trick when my cats being stupid
Crazy4Christ 0
she said cat, not dog
salvorican 24
I yell at her when I catch her doin it. She runs off and does it again every few weeks. I honestly think she just enjoys leaving lil surprises for me to find later.. And purposely wipes her ass on the floor when I'm around. There's even skid marks on the floor.. I can't stand her and I don't think ima be able to keep her
yourshootingstar 4
spray lemon juice and water or citronella scented sprays where you don't want the cat to go
Rainbow35 6
91: My cat only pees on things whenever she's in heat.
iJasper 8
LMAO x3 FYL
soccer4life156 0
KILL THE CAT!!
1215116a 14
Looks like that pussy dosent like you.
peacelovepugs 7
clearly
MilkShakez 0
maybe you should keep your pussy happy and finger him more often
DoubleRainbows 1
stroke would've been a better word.
ProhibitionRose 14
Bro, I think that's illegal.
hiyourcute 0
You were lying in bed with your cat? That's the only pussy you can get, huh?
rhartwick 0
hahaha