Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 5 year-old and I walked in on a girl giving her boyfriend a blow job in the washroom at the playground. Last week we found a crack pipe on the picnic table. So many conversations I wish we could have waited for… FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML
Today, I was taking my daughter to the hotel pool, and she was excited so she ran ahead to the door to the stairs, I heard her scream so I went running. When I opened the door, a man was getting a blowjob from another man, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER! FML
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Top comments
DarkWaffle 0
It could be worse... "Mommy, why do ******** taste bad?"
white_mouse 0
My dad told me when I was 5, I walked in on my mom blowing him and ran out like "EW KISSING PENIS!" Later he sat me down to explain that it's something that mommies and daddies do and so I asked, "Does it taste good?" and he said "Go ask your mom." I remember nothing. When babysitting I had two ten year old girls ask me what a ******* was because they weren't sure. I then found out they thought that guys got a period, too. XD; Honestly, I think it's better that they know the truth than imagine some total BS and get themselves in trouble.
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Comments (126)
mrcarmine 0
i can be a crude and insensitive person sometimes and i always have a dirty sense of humor, but i'm pretty sure that would unsettle me lol
notyouraverage 0
hahahaha. kids say strange stuff. when i was little i asked my grandpa if he had a penis. it happens. no one cares. its really not embarrassing
Bunbu 8
To be honest, you sound like an awful parent. How could you let your SIX YEAR OLD DAUGHTER hear stuff like that, from you or anyone else? Gross.
LeahLegendary 7
you sir are stupid. sometimes its not the parents fault, kids can pick anything up from anywhere
ellabellaboom 24
Honestly if I could down vote this more than once, I would. Smh.
starbaby 0
Wow I mean just wow I'm having a kid in 3 weeks is it too late to change my mind? I can understand mommy what's a ******** but how does one taste? That sounds like she knows what a ******** actually is
idoloveitbaby 0
it blows me away!!! i babysat a third grader, who proceeded to show me her collection of g-strings! and my 10 year old nephew was talking about how much he likes boobs to my fiance. kids now days are SO much more sexually advanced than we EVER were. i didn't even know what a ******* was until about the 7th or 8th grade! and she's six? tv, music, and internet. kids are too exposed to sex now.
darebear331 4
Haha it BLEW you away :)
wolfy_fml 5
I'm with #25. I didn't know what a ******** was until I was in 8th grade. XD
NYChx25 0
same here! = 0
NYChx25 0
same here! = 0
revanche 2
I got my first bj in 8th grade *facepalm*
lpaul49 0
@25 What parent buys their kid g-strings when they're in third grade? That doesn't even make sense to me.
catface 0
@ #23. It happens. There is almost no way to shield children from the various influences that may have prompted this, short of locking them in a dark quiet room all the time with no interaction with the world. There are other children in other places such as school they will interact with and those kids may have the knowledge for whatever reason, be it too much TV or bad parenting, and they pass this off to eachother. Anyways. If it were my child, I would tell her yes. Maybe she'd keep the idea in her head and not partake in that when she's older.
DamnGoodTimes 0
So...don't talk about ******** with your friend while your child is around?
Assmilk 0
Tell her it's sweet tasting.