Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML
Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML
Today, to amuse my girlfriend, I put on her sexy nightshirt and went out on the balcony for a smoke, all while shaking my booty about in front of her window. She laughed, until one of her neighbors shouted, "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML
Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. I had my headphones in and was blasting my music. It was also cold so I had my hood up. I had my back turned to the house and wasn't paying attention. My brother thought I was a burglar and tackled me to the concrete. FML
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Top comments
Jabulls 0
#11 remember, booty shorts come in XL too.
gummibehrs 4
YDI for smoking.
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Comments (52)
Sipos 0
Who cares? I bet all the people who noticed loved it.
Jabulls 0
#11 remember, booty shorts come in XL too.
thisiscat 14
And XXXL
littlehippie091 4
and XXXXXXXL as well
could_be_funny 0
hahaha @11 sad but true
yellowdevel 0
was the hole in the front or back?
ct_fml 0
smartt
fuckkkkk_fml 0
nice
FMLlolFYL 0
lol sucks for u pal
michelleJ11 25
If only there was a button for that. Oh wait ...
prettytappr 0
Hopefully your weren't wearing a thong or something embarassing. Or I guess even more embarassing, going commando
Horsempeg 25
booty shorts are underwear. unless she's referring to realllly short shorts which would be odd
michelleJ11 25
Booty 'shorts' are really short shorts. I don't think OP would be walking onto a balcony that's located in front of the busiest street in town while wearing underwear ...
lastminuteperm 0
Didn't feel a breeze? That's what you get for being a smoker.
itsokaylove 0
youareamazing