Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML
Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML
Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
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Top comments
fightingkittens 39
When I was two I shouted "OH ****" when I couldn't find something in the fridge. I then told my mom I only said that when I was frustrated. Evidently I had picked up something from my dad getting pissed off at another driver. Kids just know when someone's cursed.
Shemp_5 14
Just tell her its a made up word that doesnt mean anything. Works every time for me with my little cousins
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Comments (72)
nana_star 27
If you're the one using language like that in your house, you totally deserve that. F her life
Rinat_fml 26
Don't be so quick to judge, she may have picked it up somewhere else.
Phooey 22
He said "IF you're the one using the language"
PennyLane27 32
My immediate response would calmly be "where did you learn That word?" (if you don't jump down her throat she's likely to tell you) and then explain that's not a word we use because it means something bad that makes people mad. If she responds she learned it from OP, then that's a big look in the mirror to OP and could serve as guidance to watch her mouth around her kid.
seemo82 19
IF she was the one who said it .. she wouldnt have been posting it here in FML
PennyLane27 32
Kid might have heard OP say it (kids pick up a lot sitting in the back seat during rush hour), and OP might not have realized. OR maybe OP says it periodically without thinking. And she was embarrassed her kid said it in public. if she didn't hear it from OP then OP needs to figure out who the hell is saying stuff like that in front of her kid.
nana_star 27
Hey now, i didn't say the kid definitely picked it up from her mom. I'm just saying, like the others, that it's more likely that she picked it up at home. But in the event that she didn't, OP will have to find out where and do something about it.
Wakachulak 22
People, this is from England. '****' is usually a child's first word over there.
slyde32 12
You're thinking of Australia #27
BlindlyWandering 17
No, the people in England say **** about as often as every other cuss word combined.
rocker_chick105 31
Let's not pretend like none of us accidentally swear in front of people we shouldn't. Sometimes it slips.
Wakachulak 22
Really? I thought Aussies would be a little more creative when it comes to cussing.
doodlecloud 27
40 - we definitely don't. It's becoming slightly more popular as people become desensitised but I still only have a few certain friends who use it more than occasionally. Or sometimes it's mixed with other words to play it down (like cuntmuffin or cockwomble). It's still a pretty bad word though.
r1r1h2 11
Can I just say I love your profile pic (^_^)
USA1776 15
Always that one comment on every FML
slyde32 12
#50 we are, but we call our mates *****, and call strangers mate
ihavenolifehaha 16
She doesn't know any better.. Give her a break
badluckalex 23
true, but where in the hell for she hear this
PennyLane27 32
that's exactly why OPs response should have been (and maybe it was) to calmly ask where she learned it. The kid is legitimately asking because she heard it somewhere and wants to know. It's up to the parent to find out where she's hearing this. And to explain it's not a word she should say.
xx000o 27
Children can be so precocious sometimes.
LostMy_Marbles 24
'****' was actually my very first swear word when I was very little. True story
Shemp_5 14
Just tell her its a made up word that doesnt mean anything. Works every time for me with my little cousins
lex1459 38
That's what I said when my mom asked me what twat meant.
Wakachulak 22
Just tell her it's a swear-word. Problem solved... For about 5 years.
milehigh52 22
No way then she won't feel like it is a bad word and she might repeat it somewhere else. That's a bad plan bro it has a high chance of backfire.
Wakachulak 22
I'm guessing you're not a parent, milehigh. If you make a big deal out of it, the child will learn that is a good way to get attention. If you are calm and just give a one sentence explanation, the word will be forgotten by the next candy display.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
it's a bad word, don't say it again
lisslyi 19
If I were the kid, this is the cue for me to say it again and again.
milehigh52 22
@13 that's what parenting is for so you would learn not to say it again or there are repercussions.
BlindlyWandering 17
@13 EXACTLY! I got punished SO many times, but it never stopped me.
xivoricbutterfly 25
""You will know when you're older"
foxwasalamb 24
i hated that. cause i knew i would forget and i didn't know what age was "older"
badmandilon 19
#6, "You will know it when you're older and a bully say it to you, and another kid let you know the meaning of the offense". As a good parent I wouldn't wait until she finds out by herself the wrong way when you can explain it in a better way instead.
LadyKayDee 23
Haha.Sorry to hear that OP.Kids are funny that way.I would however like to hear your answer to that. :)
thinblue32 15
She learned it from somewhere op.
fightingkittens 39
When I was two I shouted "OH ****" when I couldn't find something in the fridge. I then told my mom I only said that when I was frustrated. Evidently I had picked up something from my dad getting pissed off at another driver. Kids just know when someone's cursed.
SingleMom_of_2 5
Why would any one say OP deserved it? I have a two year old and watch my mouth we use froggy for f**k and poop for the s word. She still knows cuss words and it is embarrassing when she says it in public. OP didn't deserve it at all.
slyde32 12
I use "firetruck" when there's kids around, starts with f and ends in uck
Wolfparable 22
Agreed. Besides that, it's amazing what some kids are taught/ overhear these days and end up teaching other kids in school.
SingleMom_of_2 5
I think firetruck is a good idea
bombielol 20
did you explain to her???