Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 5 year-old and I walked in on a girl giving her boyfriend a blow job in the washroom at the playground. Last week we found a crack pipe on the picnic table. So many conversations I wish we could have waited for… FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML
Today, I was taking my daughter to the hotel pool, and she was excited so she ran ahead to the door to the stairs, I heard her scream so I went running. When I opened the door, a man was getting a blowjob from another man, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER! FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DarkWaffle 0
It could be worse... "Mommy, why do ******** taste bad?"
white_mouse 0
My dad told me when I was 5, I walked in on my mom blowing him and ran out like "EW KISSING PENIS!" Later he sat me down to explain that it's something that mommies and daddies do and so I asked, "Does it taste good?" and he said "Go ask your mom." I remember nothing. When babysitting I had two ten year old girls ask me what a ******* was because they weren't sure. I then found out they thought that guys got a period, too. XD; Honestly, I think it's better that they know the truth than imagine some total BS and get themselves in trouble.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (126)
xx_hayleyy 0
get a hold of your first grader. before you know it she'll be a stripper.
jayfx 0
I can't imagine a kid that young would know words like that..its shocking..
youknowit919 0
maybe Aldous Huxley (Brave New World) was right about the future of society
lexii29 0
LMFAO where did she learn that from??
rosellie 0
omg! how'd she learn that?
Aetius_fml 0
"It tastes absolutely disgusting until you're eighteen"
Samboni 0
Awkward Turtle
alwaysalady 0
When I was that age, I told my mom I knew what oral sex was. She looked horrified and said,"Oh?" I replied "It's when you talk a lot about sex." I had heard the term in a public washroom.
musicismylife21 5
lmao that's hilarious!
tsprings 2
Exactly what I thought too!
eschreib 0
ocean salt water and egg whites mixed together
unclesam 0
Wow...you're child is ruined.