Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I've never heard testicles called "ladies" before, but yup, you definitely harassed them.
MrClean17 15
Every man can relate to the pain of sitting on one's own balls
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Comments (79)
fancypantsgirl 3
How do you sit in your own balls
CharresBarkrey 16
Are you at all familiar with male anatomy?
fancypantsgirl 3
Don't worry I don't know either. I got your back :p
b_rad_fml 4
You went commando, your fault. Here's your YDI sign!
redhedsaysrawr 18
You don't have to go commando to sit on your balls... I'm a girl and even I know that...
martin_martian7 11
Girls won't understand the pain of our balls
thelegendarystm_fml 4
Do you not have any idea what the phrase 'through no fault of my own' means? How could you sitting on your balls be anyone's fault other than your own?
djinnyf 12
When you call a couple of girls a pair, you kinda deserve this....
TheInfamousJosh_fml 12
There seems to be a gap in information from the time you sat on your balls, till the time you got thrown out. Some people just don't know how to tell stories.
1crabbygirl 10
Describing the people as a pair is making me barf in my mouth. Knowing that you crash-landed on your own junk helped me swallow my regurgitation and get on with my day.
tressie_fml 6
I've never sat on my balls in my 21 years of life...
yeti37 16
because yours haven't dropped yet
NiktoLjubitTibja 2
Maybe he said something like "Ooh baby" (as in "Ooh baby that hurts" minus the last two words) or said "f me" or something like that? And it was misconstrued as being directed towards the women? Please elaborate, OP. WE NEED TO KNOW! Our lives will be incomplete!