Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML
Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "But I just peed in that water." FML
Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML
Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML
Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing their bikinis. I was looking at them when I got an erection but since I was underwater I thought no one would see. I'm on the diving team so my teacher asked me to demonstrate a dive to the class. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
that1kid82 2
Wood floats
MrClean17 15
He was probably even more embarrassed than you were
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
that1kid82 2
Wood floats
MrForgetable 0
Lol! Kudos to you on that one :P
MrSassypants 34
Luckily for the boy, and everyone else into the pool, the wood floating was merely a plank, and not a log.
sens3sfailing 25
Wow, a redefinition of planking, having an obvious boner at incredibly awkward moments...MAKE IT HAPPEN INTERNET!
ozone9914 2
i saw that happening at my the same day this was posted
ZeroZoom 6
Hawkward!
AlexM42 5
A first comment that actually adds value to the conversation?! How can this be?
KindaFunnyRight 8
I hate piggybackers whose comments are irrelevant to the comment they're replying to >:/
FMBandNerd 8
@19. Actually an awkward boner site does exist.
Brotha_Lou 5
The Wood pecker
Toasty283 8
I was gonna say drift wood...
acekid38 3
Wendy peffercorn...
GirlYouNasty 11
"Every summer from then on, she looked down on him, and smiled." Awesome ass movie. Funny now that was the first thing that jumped to my head too
Tempest559 12
Classic!
gojira666 7
Oiling and lotioning, lotioning and oiling....I cant take it anymore!
KingCeltic77 18
"This magic moment!"
lilmisslovely13 15
"Did you plan that?" "Course! I've been planning that for years!"
Idiotsspoutcrap 6
Its the flag ship
Jjgibbs 5
I think that girls should take it as an compliment when they are attractive enough to give a person am erection
RvidxrKlvn 8
A lamp could give a teenage boy an erection.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
64- depends on the curves...
NeDaroft 5
More like, the flag pole
swmr4life 9
Not a compliment when your an adult and they are a teen, and they are your student. Pretty awkward. 🙄
MrClean17 15
He was probably even more embarrassed than you were
onlychildFTW 34
I would be. Unless OP and the boy are around the same age. ;) haha
ThatsMyPie 20
68 - I would be in any case.
ryry013 6
So you're saying if youre fifteen, and your fifteen year old friend was holding you up in the water and you got a boner, you wouldn't be embarrassed? What is it about when they get older to cause someone to supposedly forget why it happens ?
DarkHelmet 10
GIGGITY!!
Draxanoth 15
Shut up, Meg.
sheethapins 13
Damn you all! Victory shall be mine!
wickedninja918 1
*starts to talk about the latest movies*
379_fml 11
45- that's what the boy was hoping
sheethapins 13
57 Quiet, you.
obsessPossess 14
.. SPN?
verkaderk 9
He just really likes your flotation devices
newbiehere99 6
Either that or really wanted to back "stroke"
malikgirl 2
...
goose12321 11
Mmmm.... flotation devices
JudgeTroll 6
I personally think the breaststroke might be more relevant.
buckdharma 38
Doggy style.
PandaKitteh 20
Doggy 'paddle'... ;]
fenixtorador1 11
I'm loving the way 88 thinks lol
nchov523 11
21- breaststroke.
FizzyApple 3
Take it as a compliment.
martinez121797 15
Right u have to look at the bright side
bigbadtim 7
He's doing a submarine impersonation. His erection is his para scope.
sweetmama88 6
I love your answer !
Mister_Triangle 21
Life is a question. Death is the only answer.
billyw02 5
******* weirdo...
FML_Whale 18
75 - Honestly, nobody cares if you're ******* a person named Weirdo.
opoopu 8
^They may take a look if it is a whale though.
ASD_K 11
Periscope. Perioral dermatitis. Peri-, a prefix meaning "around". Periscopes look around, perioral dermatitis is a rash without many known causes around the mouth. Paradox, paralyze. Para-, a totally different prefix.
FML_Whale 18
Did he try to hide it? Or was he proud of it?
bettykooler 7
Yeah really! Lol you'd think he'd refuse to swim till it went away!.. Geez if he was proud if it I'd pay to see a picture of his face. Probably looked like 16's profile picture.. Hahaha ohh poor poor guy!!
Stain92 14
Refuse to swim away from an embarrassing situation? I'd be using it as a propeller if it was me.
gc327072 31
76- to impress a chick....
sincerelyjay 13
Do the helicopter dick
MrSassypants 34
I could only imagine how embarrassing it was for him. Now in his mind he's thinking "Now I'll never have a chance with her!" even though he never did. It always goes the way you want it in your mind.