Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML
Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML
Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML
Today, I was feeling confident enough to approach a guy by asking the bartender if I could buy him a refill of whatever he was drinking. He was drinking water. FML
Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML
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Top comments
chosha_fml 27
YDI for thinking 'hey baby' is suave.
glutgyoogle 6
Well at least you were nice and CHILL
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Comments (120)
afulks78 11
Fail
tellithowitis 13
You set yourself up for disaster my friend.
fatgirllovesfml 0
Cool story, bro!
beetboxboy 9
Thats cold man....
brittney4598 0
I wonder if she helped him dry his pants.
scrapmetal58 9
I think the bigger fail is the lame "Hey baby" line.
mk58 31
No. Not at all a "lol" situation.
DerekBlaskie 6
Why was 1 voted down so much for real? It was indeed a major fail..
shae_butter 0
My words exactly baby
DrewsFML 8
72 - because FML'ers expect comments to be funny or add something to the conversation.
rallets 23
rico... suave...
gigglemafia 0
Im not afraid to say it I like turtles just because they are awesome and they are like hey I'm a turtle and I'm gonna swim around and they eat little fishies and they are proud of it
AnonymousTroll 2
Buy a Keith Stone and be smooth.
iEthan 5
Woww. That's coldd/:
whitesox365 0
Youre pants were gonna get wet sooner or later...
enonymous 9
True Fact: Guy was not happy you chose to flirt with her and not him.
whitesox365 0
*your sorry
thethatoneguy_21 4
Since when was there a criteria for fml comments? This post is just straight to the point. This post is a fail, although whether it's the pick up line he used or the splashing of water on his pants, i'm still deciding
dre_bro11 12
144, there is a criteria, and although mostly not official, the FML community (mostly) knows what it is. It's sort of like 'instinct' to put it into clearer words. It doesn't have to be taught to you, because if you're all there, you should already know it.
kevsnev 7
Girl, did you just fart? Because you blew me away.
kevsnev 7
Girl, did you just fart? Because you blew me away.
kevsnev 7
Girl, did you just fart? Because you blew me away.
kevsnev 7
Girl, did you just fart? Because you blew me away.
Youdrongo 0
I'm seeing double. No, triple. Wait...quadruple. I need to lay off the shrooms.
Jovecove 13
125 - You are definitely not a 'gangsta bieber'... More like ****** bieber, which is like fag x 2 = fag ******.
glenzhao2 16
YDI for the "Hey baby" line, you just met her, that's just creepy
colecola12 0
Number 1, i wanna **** you so hard. Nice pic
AmericanGal21 11
She was obviously taken lol
MrBoredGuy 1
You're stupid
twofirstnames 12
I don't see how you can assume she's takin from OP getting water spilled on his lap.
d_dubz86 1
I loathe cockblockers -__-
AmericanGal21 11
I meant that the guy who spilled the water obviously didn't want OP flirting with her. It's called a joke people. Calm down.
fashionistaGirll 0
Yeah nice joke...
MrBoredGuy 1
Yep, still stupid
RaquelRox2299 0
Screw them! Keep going with the flirting!!
twofirstnames 12
Yea cause having a giant wet stain on your pants is attractive haha(:
My_Nightmare 19
That really doesn't apply to this situation. . .
My_Nightmare 19
That really doesn't apply to this FML
chronick89 5
I thought i was the only one But Ontario is full of twats
My_Nightmare 19
That's not really significant to this FML. . .
My_Nightmare 19
That isn't really relevant to this FML. If OP had gotten punched in the sac then that would be a different story.
goobergirlie 5
My nightmare: Stfu. You've posted your thing like four times. Stop.
goobergirlie 5
Right, like that will change the fact that it's not worth saying in the first place.
whitesox365 0
Dear MyNightmare, Nobody gives a shit. Nobody gives a shit. I say it twice because nobody gives two *****.
MuchDance90s 0
Vastly more entertaining than the FML
My_Nightmare 19
Thaaaat's not really relevant in this situation. . .
Froggirl14 0
Wow I'm sorry.
xlord 27
I don't know what you did but you better be sorry!!!!
Froggirl14 0
Sorry for him I didn't do it
iMsOeAsYxXxX 0
U better be lol
XxREXxX 0
make the waitress lick it off ;)
threer 30
He can't MAKE her do anything.
glutgyoogle 6
Well at least you were nice and CHILL
FUUUandyourmom 16
Well, he seems like a pretty COOL guy.
ceilingfans 1
I don't see why that guy gave him the COLD shoulder.
brittney4598 0
I wonder if he was nervous and FROZE up?
Fruit_Dealer 9
I just got hypothermia from these comments.
mitri_fml 3
C-cc-cccommm *pauses for a second* dammit someone beat me to it. Goodbye cruel world *drives off a cliff*
Wheredidgrungego 12
WATER you talking about?
fatboy1 0
That suck
jsx12345 0
Wow, you're wet......
dickydickman 0
I like the feeling of ice water on my balls...
castrosabeast 7
Haha smooth move ex-lax!
griffins33 4
His friend spilt the water
GraceKathryn97 0
Haha that must have sucked!
strokesie 23
Irony.