Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, so I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML
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Top comments
mspiggy3712 11
Therapists everywhere..... give a discount to this guy...
purplemango 21
I hope you're fine now. Congrats on going out! :) I hope you won't get discouraged by this.
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Comments (65)
mspiggy3712 11
Therapists everywhere..... give a discount to this guy...
purplemango 21
I hope you're fine now. Congrats on going out! :) I hope you won't get discouraged by this.
BrookieAnn 19
You've been clubbed, that's the whole point of clubbing
Pleonasm 36
Wait, wait, wait- this is just too rich; You made bad comments on all 3 FMLs? Someone give this person my "Award for the most stupid successive comments on different FMLs"
BrookieAnn 19
Bad comments are my specialty! :) I don't spend time on the internet much and this is what happens, no need to be so rude
Pleonasm 36
I'm not being rude, I'm giving you an award! So give your speech already, jeez, the group for "Most abusing of FML clichés" is yet to be nominated.
BrookieAnn 19
Okay, I'm sorry sir
Wizardo 34
#18, sometimes I wonder why people comment with either the crappiest joke, a quote or saying or advice that's been said a million times or things that contribute nil towards the comedic value of the threads on an FML, just voicing my opinion here guys.
TrueTriage 16
Now now Pleo be kind. She said she was new to the Internet so lets give some constructive criti.... Ah who am I kidding no one would do that on the Internet.
BrookieAnn 19
Well I would thanks for insulting me
LissaMccracken 23
This is what you do:Comment on things and don't go back and see what people say. Haha there's always gonna be someone who will be hateful, if you don't like it don't comment, or try not to care. Or just don't go back and see what people say.
perdix 31
#18, Pleo, remember: That which does not kill her makes her stronger. Let her be and the let the quality of her comments take her where she ought to be.
Wizardo 34
#27, FML Purgatory? please be purgatory...
lifesucks1217 6
#3 I meant a person just like you he posted stupid comments and ydi every post hmm are you Kevin or a family member of his?
LeFrogDog 27
if you fellows wont stop #3 will submit a FML.
mcrepas 19
Easy folks, brookieann may not be making the best comments but not complete awful ones (I've seen worse and have made worse ones myself) I mean she claims to be in some Ivey school but I don't know 'bout that. Her age isn't listed thus for all I know, she's 14. Not saying she couldn't be in her late teens, early twenties, but unless the age is listed, I try to keep nasty comments away.
23Z9TZO 18
So people on fml can't get enough of puns, but yours is apparently bad for some reason? I mean it's shit, but why are people only finding this one shit?
finnrambo 13
at least she didn't use the "thats a shitty situation" pun
jackiemora 18
Don't let that stop you! There are awful AND good fun people out there.
Zestus 19
probably gonna be me tonight... oh well it's sunmer.
Joshwarrior 39
One of the times being social can get you in trouble sorry buddy :/
MrConcise 35
The others are at work, in school, at the library, in a waiting room, during nap time of a daycare center, at a wedding, during a movie, at a funeral...man, now that I think about it, society really dislikes us being social.
someguy314159265 15
Society also really dislikes us not being social. It's just incredibly convoluted and screwed up.
andrew6p 19
Reminds me of katt williams, when he was talking about clubbing and Ho-Zone
ObsessedWithMe 13
but you made it to the club! that's a big step for someone with social anxiety. congrats OP!
mcrepas 19
Meet me in the club, it's goin' down!
Bluemonster3 26
You still made it to the club. That's a big step in overcoming your anxiety :)