Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was at a friend's party and tried to lean casually against a wall while talking to someone. I missed the wall and ended up stumbling backwards into the punch bowl that was atop the coffee table. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML
Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML
Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I walked into a wall, smashing my laptop into the top of my eye socket. This was all because I was carrying my laptop, phone and chocolate mug cake, all while trying to watch Netflix on said laptop. I feel like a 2016 cliché. FML
Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML
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Top comments
sydneybeau 7
sounds like a blast.
Rico_Mal1116 0
Are you the same idiot who got so drunk they gave out there moms number..?
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Comments (96)
eloheljeykeh 0
What, London?
ogplusog 4
I would be extremely proud if I achieved that level of oblivion. I once thought I was 24 for well over a year... sadly friends and family insisted on reminding me of my birthday, the date, and time.
Mipz 2
I hate when that happens.
fuckmylife2323 0
Heh u in England ?
Raheemdplayer 7
Well this wasn't in England because the police have been totally against using them. It doesn't state where you live so I might go ahead and say fake
Battle_Man 5
I don't know about everyone else, but when I'm hungover, even the slightest noises. seem loud as hell, and I immediately try to shut it the **** up... so for you to not notice... Yeah, that's all you. YDI
joelvincent23 0
SUE!!!!
MMPR 5
Serves you right! Don't you know that chocolate is supposed to "cause" headaches...
Friaza 29
Water style: Water dragon bomb jutsu!
wickedeva 2
This is a lame FML