Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was at a friend's party and tried to lean casually against a wall while talking to someone. I missed the wall and ended up stumbling backwards into the punch bowl that was atop the coffee table. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML
Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML
Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I walked into a wall, smashing my laptop into the top of my eye socket. This was all because I was carrying my laptop, phone and chocolate mug cake, all while trying to watch Netflix on said laptop. I feel like a 2016 cliché. FML
Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML
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Top comments
sydneybeau 7
sounds like a blast.
Rico_Mal1116 0
Are you the same idiot who got so drunk they gave out there moms number..?
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Comments (96)
yanster97 0
Hehe
Kurtykat 2
You were that wasted? Who are you... Charlie Sheen?!
XxHoPPoxX 8
well obviously no because he wasn't winning
fuckmrsoftee 0
chocolate, you and fate dont have much to say to each other now do they. no, i bet they dont. unless the word fail is subtly screamed here.
mastersmurf 13
Cops have brilliant aim, they manage to hit the one person who is not rioting. /sarcasm
XI3NC3 2
Derry or London ? Belfast ?
ImDB8 0
Are you from Britain?
janix_96 0
actually, water cannons are used a lot in northern Ireland riots, so #55 is right to ask if op's from Belfast or Derry. maybe you should get your facts straight before you bitch at people.
tj4234 36
maybe it wasn't a watercannon. Maybe it was blastoise. You were hung over enough not to spot a riot afterall...
RyNo24 4
UK?
smashgrab 0
1. How hung over do you have to be to not notice a riot, big or small? 2. Why would they use water cannons on a 'small' riot? 3. Where are you from that any of this would be happening? *before the idiots start bitching, the mobile site on my BB doesn't give all the information that others get.
Ranimal 12
Water Cannons were NOT used during the recent UK riots.
meringuey 2
Technically, no, 'water cannons' were not used, but there is plenty of news footage of police using high-pressure water jets to knock rioters aside. OP is probably just slightly off with the terminology.