Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was at a friend's party and tried to lean casually against a wall while talking to someone. I missed the wall and ended up stumbling backwards into the punch bowl that was atop the coffee table. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, while joking and chatting with a coworker on my way to the bathroom, I misjudged the distance to the entrance and slammed my head into the wall. My coworker told everyone. So now I'm funny, but not for the reason I wanted to be. FML
Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML
Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I walked into a wall, smashing my laptop into the top of my eye socket. This was all because I was carrying my laptop, phone and chocolate mug cake, all while trying to watch Netflix on said laptop. I feel like a 2016 cliché. FML
Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML
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Top comments
sydneybeau 7
sounds like a blast.
Rico_Mal1116 0
Are you the same idiot who got so drunk they gave out there moms number..?
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Comments (96)
dreawlkr523 0
How hung over were you to not notice a riot?
thatguy133 1
this wouldn't happen to be from London would it?
nephilim241 19
Nah, were too soft to deploy water cannons remember?
Xquisite1 28
*
your_ma 27
Nope London don't have them. I think Northern Ireland is the only UK country that is allowed to use them..
KaanTech 0
ok i found it it is greek where op is from
BIEBERSLAYER 10
A riot hose always cures even the most pesky hangovers with with a more pleasant splitting pain. Possible side effects may include bleeding from the head cause by contact with pavement.
zachherbert 10
Wouldn't it make this fml just a little worse if it ended with "the corner store was out of chocolate"
SherryA 15
MUCH worse! Lol. Getting hosed down and them not even have any chocolate... Ohh that is just horrible! :)
BIEBERSLAYER 10
April 26 1992. there were riots on the streets tell me where were you? You were probably sittin on your couch watching your tv while I was participating in some anarchy.
AngryCanadian 0
Don't be sorry for party rockin'
steveakafranxy 7
In the house tonite
steveakafranxy 7
Why do people assume OP is talking about the England riots?
stroudie94 9
Are you in England?
LittlestV 28
Water cannons weren't used in the UK riots.
ImmaB3AST 7
If I had a water cannon... Oh the pleasures I would have >:]. I would chase homeless people with them downtown. I would spray any hot chick showing too much cleavage or wearing a white shirt and last, I would spray my stepmom with water everytime she bitched at me. After all, dogs hate that, right?
xcarxcrashx 9
Yup, sounds pretty ******* stupid if you ask me. What the **** did you drink?