Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML
Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
It was a defenseless, little bird in need of help . . . until you crushed it to death. Birds are the descendants of dinosaurs. Sweet dreams.
alex_vik 1
What are you, 7 and blind?
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Comments (87)
ananamoose 0
tell the bird to stick it or you'll do it again
lostfaithinpppl 19
OP, are you 5?
fegd 0
Ohhh I love doing that too! :)
ScaryPants3 0
I love stepping on leaves. :) But.. I'm hoping it was dead before you stepped on it for sure.
fringle 0
so was it dead already or did you kill it o.O
Mortanious 0
Go cry while hugging a tree! What the **** is it with emos?! And it's not like you stepped on a living bird and killed it. ******* hell, get a life bitch!
themuffinking 0
Aww, why are you being so mean? C'mon, the nice lady is obviously upset, you shouldn't be calling her names. :(
shugacube 13
Why are you so angry?
GreenDaemon21 0
women are stupid. but seriously, dont sweat it, every chicken, burger, meat salad, hotdog, or pepperoni pizza you eat contribute to the slaughtered animals list, if ur not vegetarian then u prolly indirectly killed about 30 chickens/year from being omnivore
catriona_cd 0
fml??? atleast it was dead.. yes im sure this has ****** your life and will screw up you tiny brain for years to come.. grow up
xDEEEEEEEEEEE 0
Girl, you're not alone. I almost did that a couple weeks ago. Yeah, I always wondered if I looked like a retard for walking in zigzags crunching leaves. &I also kick stones and stuff like that.
kathyfan 0
Not an FML whatsoever