Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML
Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. After he took a dump, I went to pick it up but my glasses fell right in his poop. I didn’t have tissue, just the plastic bag. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I found a small piece of trash in the hallway so I picked it up. It was cat poop. FML
Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML
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Top comments
may_cause_fail 0
Well, you were wearing shoes. WEREN'T YOU? I'd hardly call this an FML.
applecake 0
I did the pinecone-crushing thing too; but stepped on a banana slug and slipped.
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Comments (27)
applecake 0
I did the pinecone-crushing thing too; but stepped on a banana slug and slipped.
pommeblossom 0
AHAHAHHA
McButterpants 0
One might say you're a 'Shit disturber'. GET IT!!! AAAHAHAHahahahahosjlhsgaknmgdf... lame
may_cause_fail 0
Well, you were wearing shoes. WEREN'T YOU? I'd hardly call this an FML.
pingpongdj 0
he could've been wearing slippers? lol.
MissFreshx7 0
lmfao you deserved it ! watch where yer goiin.
Humanoid_fml 0
You can crush acorns by stepping on them? Do you weigh half a ton?
Link5794 18
Tiny, hollow, dried up acorns. I sometimes do that, too.
Guitarist45 0
this isn't an fml
Malajustice 0
Heh, something like that happened to me when I was a kid. I was kicking at fallen leaves, and one of them turned out to be dog shit. I was wearing my new pink sneakers at the time (gimme a break, I was 6) and my mom made me throw them out :(
dude_sweet 0
hahaha yeah fyl
llScarlFacell 0
I love it when someone fails.