Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML
Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
It was a defenseless, little bird in need of help . . . until you crushed it to death. Birds are the descendants of dinosaurs. Sweet dreams.
alex_vik 1
What are you, 7 and blind?
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Comments (87)
VirtualHolmes 0
testing comment.
Argerkrieger 0
How is this possibly a FML? You stepped on a dead bird. Big whoop. Unless you were barefoot this isn't a big deal.
melissa_10 7
was it squishy??? did blood splatter all over the place???
KWifey305 0
You should have picked it up and sold it to a blind kid like Lloyd did inthe movie Dumb and Dumber
SentrySarcasm 0
My word, stop BITCHING about whether or not it's a "REAL" FML and appreciate it for what it is - a FUN STORY. If it was a real FML, you'd all be bitching and moaning about how it's the OP's fault anyways, so smile for once and save yourself the trouble of getting yourself all worked up over a STORY. Sheesh.
Edumacated 0
OP left out "well...*now* it's a dead bird, anyway..."
blastvortex 4
If you were actually "watching" where you walked, that shouldn't have happened. =/
CallMeHush 1
This is an FML why? The poor little birdies bones didn't crunch enough for you?
WorkThatButt 2
You'll get over it :)
FromCFL 0
It never ceases to amaze me how many ******* IDIOTS there are on this site. OP does makes a conscious decision to do something lame and over 6 THOUSAND people think OP's life is ducked because of it? ******* IDIOTS!!