Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML
Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
It was a defenseless, little bird in need of help . . . until you crushed it to death. Birds are the descendants of dinosaurs. Sweet dreams.
alex_vik 1
What are you, 7 and blind?
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Comments (87)
Dcvictorious 0
Not a FML. I didn't realise you were 5 years old OP.
Sun_Kissed18 25
Aww but crunching leaves is fun! Its great to just let go and be a kid again :)
qwertyone 0
There is nothing wrong with doing that. I do it at my age. If everyone demonstrated a little harmless and innocent child like behavior the world would be less depressing.
Nakedsquirrel 5
I still tend to kick at sticks or stones I come across, and try to keep them in line so I don't have to stray from my path and swerve around like a retard just to kick it again =P (I don't go out of my way.) When you get a significant other that likes to take walks, taking turns kicking stuff as you go can be a fun little game.
Mx_Rider 6
sunkissed your hot! and you ride dirtbikes! even hotter. o yea.. op so you stepped on a dead bird boo whoo youll live.
crazytoaster 2
YDI because the bird was alive when you stepped on it.
Atamix 0
you fail at flirting
xclegend613 0
dude i know that's what i said
Sun_Kissed18 25
haha thanks guys?
reyemrein 0
Notice the question mark ^
kieran247 0
I was running in my yard and slipped on a dead squirrel once
ariomario2 0
It's fine for people to step on the crunchy leaves!! I do it all the time and I'm 18! I will just think twice about it now.......
alex_vik 1
What are you, 7 and blind?
Destro109 20
exactly
echarperouge 0
I do that all the time! But dude, that sucks.
stone_light 0
ya that sucks, but crushing leaves is fun
dspadres 0
You stomp on dead birds all the time?
Caayouteepie 0
hey. thats kinda gross.
Caayouteepie 0
allmidnighteyes 11
Did you bring it home to eat?
deven7 0
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
YDI_King 0
YDI. look before you leap
perdix 31
It was a defenseless, little bird in need of help . . . until you crushed it to death. Birds are the descendants of dinosaurs. Sweet dreams.
perdix 31
Where the pterodactyl calls in the stegosaurus and tyrannosaurus rex to avenge the murder of the little bird. It's going to be a long night for the OP. I hope she didn't eat chicken for dinner.
hallix 21
Are we sure the bird was alive before he stepped on it? Pretty sure he would have noticed it moving if it had been...
ExtremeEncounter 32
It was already dead.
pcakewafflebacon 0
not so bad. I stepped in baby bird guts barefoot once...