Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML
Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
It was a defenseless, little bird in need of help . . . until you crushed it to death. Birds are the descendants of dinosaurs. Sweet dreams.
alex_vik 1
What are you, 7 and blind?
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Comments (87)
time_consumer 0
Meh, I do that on purpose.
SoSoRachel 7
EW. You sick person! You'd actually end a little birdies life on purpose? :(
inviz 0
The same thing happened to me once. It was quite horrifying.
canijustcomment 0
MLIA?
Dcvictorious 0
modded why?
Say_hi 0
I think you owe someone an apology.
dspadres 0
You're alive, the bird's dead...seems like the bird is pretty ****** to me. Were you barefoot? If not, who cares?
iSmellNice 2
So? Your life is ****** because you have smeared bird on your shoe?
rabid_otaku 29
He obviously feels bad about the bird. I mean, the bird's life is more ******, but it's not like HE can post an FML because he's a bird and, once again, HIS life is ****** because he's dead.
greenfairy_fml 0
Once when I was little, I was swinging on a swingset. I jumped off the swing, fell forward, and my face landed right on a rotting dead bird. Yeah. Scarred for life.
ShetHappensxx 0
FBL (fuckthebird'slife!)
Houndourpup 0
YDI for not being aware of you're surroundings
tasker_fml 4
are you sure it was dead before you stepped on it?