Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML
Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
It was a defenseless, little bird in need of help . . . until you crushed it to death. Birds are the descendants of dinosaurs. Sweet dreams.
alex_vik 1
What are you, 7 and blind?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (87)
MnBran6 0
I guess you could say... That Bird... *puts shades on* Just flew the coop. YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA
erikjg82489 0
how do you get a bird confused with a leaf??? your a retard.
Craze_fan 0
i hope we all appreciate the irony of people who say "your a retard" instead of "you're a retard" And it depends on what kind of bird, how big it was, and how many leaves surrounded it. A small brown bird, nestled among a group of dead leaves and unmoving; sounds like pretty good camouflage to me.
Atamix 0
Win ^_^
PhillyFox 0
You stepped on a dead bird and now your life is ******? Wow. What a sheltered life you must live.
NoneOfTheAbove 0
HAHAHA I DID THAT ONCE!
Amortifiedperson 0
My mom looked over my shoulder when I was reading this FML. She remembered when she stepped, barefoot, on a dead baby mole that our cat left for us... And then described how the guts spewed through her toes... Lovely...
melissa_10 7
Lovely..indeed
ScaryyMary 14
This is what happens when twelve-year-old geeks try to recreate unimaginative MLIA posts. ROFLMAO FAIL
Alec314195 1
How is that an FML??? thats like a "oops im a dumbass, time to get on with life cause no one cares"
gurlucrazy 0
grow up
dannyboy66 7
everyone has to release there inner child sometimes
ConoRR 0
42 he said it didn't crunch right not it didn't crunch op you better hope that bird was already dead :p