Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
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Top comments
cartez2gs 3
ahahahhahaa. pwned by your child. shave your furry beaver. lol
collegegirl87 0
omg just because her child says it was a beard does not mean she has a jungle. children don't have any hair so of course they are going to be surprised. FYL and you don't need to shave
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Comments (173)
limegreenpoopie 31
awww man lol xD
rxmazing 0
LMFAO that's so funny, you need to shave though...
BobbyXXX 0
ydi it for having a beard on your peepee
mattman1994 0
Hahaha! That was funny
mspencer809 3
89- I love your eyes. lol, just sayin'.
ugwmii 0
mistyic blueee. I got blue eyes too we got so much in common my brother
hairt 4
HAHhHa she will grow up to have one soon :p
cheekywench 0
Wax is a beautiful thing.....
ArtIsResistance7 1
Should of told her about the pussy troll that lives down there... THAT would of shut her up.
NoelLikesBirds 0
Tell her a little gnome named Peter lives in your slacks and he left his razor at the Holiday Inn so he's unable to remove his facial bush.
mockingjay_fml 0
HAHAHA
taz1 1
This is a complete ripoff of a story that was on MLIA a few days ago, only they weren't in public
nyc718 0
hows about shaving that thing? no respectable man wants hair in his teeth after going down.
NoelLikesBirds 0
Does anyone else wish he hadn't said that, with a baby on his lap...?
ohmgitsme 0
haha thats what I was thinking.
lifeinhd 3
I'm pretty sure it was the baby who said that.
lshelby94 0
I was thinking the same thing
Kawaiichan42 3
Look, dude, not every woman can shave down there. I have massively sensitive skin and am only able to shave my legs because lotion was invented. The skin there is so sensitive that it does nothing but itch. I trim, but shaving/waxing is out of the question.
jamaymay92 0
So yeah, at least trim. But the same thing with men. Trim your pubes! Getting hair in my mouth while giving head is not attractive.