Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML
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Top comments
My_Little_Pony 0
Some things you just can't make an excuse for.
Arrow_fml 0
It's ok, some people are show-ers and some are growers.
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Comments (98)
My_Little_Pony 0
Some things you just can't make an excuse for.
120796gators 0
yeah #1 like ur stupid profile pic
b182link 0
or like your stupid name because the gators are gay
greatsarcazm 0
22 ==== winnn
Palirose 22
Or like the fact that my wiener is bigger than all of yours......
subiedude08 17
Are u guys done with your **** contest?
ProctorKProducti 5
Shake your dicks, this pissing contest is over.
Arrow_fml 0
It's ok, some people are show-ers and some are growers.
ryno00005 0
true true and it Couldve Bern cold lol
Evananjunli 9
I don't think the bathroom is where showers show their showing, but, if urinals are what they're into...
Jimboom 12
Ouch. Thats gotta hurt. Well.. you know what they say. Out of the mouths of babes and all that. But then again as a man of average size I can tell you that skill in the bedroom does not always equate to the size of your dick.
Turtle_Mode 0
it does help tho
yuyo_fml 0
itss all about performancee son!
icall_BS 0
Damn right! Indians have the smallest penises yet they are the horniest and do some crazy shit in bed.
budster1993 2
"American women they use the mouth and you no use the mouth" -raj the snake you was a snake prank call victim
lifeisfunny04 0
oh man , kids say the darnest things huh
Zuriel45 0
There are pills to solve that problem
KillSwitch96 18
Those pills aren't supposed to be taken unless you're planning on having sex though and they are also typically used to solve the problem of having erectile dysfunction. The fact that he is in the men's bathroom and has a son makes me think he isn't gay, so I highly doubt he was planning to have any sort of sexual contact in that bathroom. Especially with his son in there as well. Please keep stupid comments to yourself.
texta 0
Awesome
Jimboom 12
It ain't the size that matters son. It's what it does to you when mommy's at work that counts. ;)
musu_fml 0
#8 Are you really asking that question? Let's recap; father and son are both using urinals. The curious kid has peeked over at a strangers penis and seen it. Would you like a minute to make the mental leap required to work out how the kid could possibly have seen his father's penis some time previously? Psst, I'll give you a clue; perhaps, shock horror, the father and son have used urinals before, and the kid peeked somewhere slightly different.
babex21 0
hahahahah wait hahhahahahahhah