Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cartez2gs 3
ahahahhahaa. pwned by your child. shave your furry beaver. lol
collegegirl87 0
omg just because her child says it was a beard does not mean she has a jungle. children don't have any hair so of course they are going to be surprised. FYL and you don't need to shave
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (173)
TheVariableX 0
YDI for bring your four year old into the stall with you. PERV!!! She can stand outside the stall! It's called parenting!!!
angiiebaby 0
she was actually being a good parent..someone could kidnap her kid while she was going to the bathroom! i'd do the same with my kid if we were shopping alone and i had to go..i'd just make him or her face the door..haha
TheVariableX 0
People are so terrified of " kidnappers" but what are they going to do grab the kid and run out the front door with the kid screaming? not gonna happen.
PhillyFox 0
How is that perverted?! She's her mother! It's not like she's molesting her own child in the bathroom stall for Christ's sake! You're the one that's perverted for even thinking like that.
hotdyegrl 0
I was in the restroom and a girl told her mom
hotdyegrl 0
she could have been trimmed... that may also look like a beard to a 4 year old.
BubbaCatLove 0
Children FMLs are NOT real FMLs. These are things children do. Not anything out of the ordinary. Good Lord, please just stop posting cute stuff your kid does to embarrass you as an FML. Your life isn't f---ed if you have kids that do embarrassing things. YDI for having kids in the first place if that's how you feel, OP.
moooimafish 0
i actually found this amusing :') and why would you take a four year old into the toilet with you, and haven't you heard of shaving?
claiiire_fml 17
in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight. wheeee ehhh ehhh ehhh ehhh....
claiiire_fml 17
dun dun dunlay....
awesome_RICKY 0
YUCK! lol u have a hairy beaver!
skull_candy 0
bloop
onorexveritas 24
LMFAO shave that shit haha thats hilarious