Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML
Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML
Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
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Top comments
cartez2gs 3
ahahahhahaa. pwned by your child. shave your furry beaver. lol
collegegirl87 0
omg just because her child says it was a beard does not mean she has a jungle. children don't have any hair so of course they are going to be surprised. FYL and you don't need to shave
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Comments (173)
ctlnaaia71 8
Maybe cutting and shaving some hair is a good idea ... I just believe you're a single mom, or your partner is just a pig.
Capriciousfox 27
You're a douchebag
Poepiepiesie 3
Oh god that is best thing i've read this weak.
kitkat216 0
nice goldshroom
sourgirl101 29
Did you teach him you use toilet paper after, before he turns 20 years old?
Ratdaddy94 0
The FML clearly says that her daughter said it
sourgirl101 29
or her, opps.
sourgirl101 29
Haha thanks GG. I'm always messing up. Btw a win is a win. Go Fins! (:
fourloco 0
Shave that shit!
Quest_ 13
This FML has inspired me to let my pubic hair grow into a moustache-look on the mons area. Awesome. I'm excited.
Granddragon 0
I think you should do a Fu Manchu.
sammehsaurus 0
Go for the Hitler 'stache:)
Sansa_fml 38
Best idea ever! xD
annanonomus 0
Lol! Kids really do say the funniest things. I'm still laughing.
foreverspellman 0
no way to beat around the bush with that one eh?
Wolpy 9
Everyone has pubic hair... if it bothers you that much then remove it.
Wolpy 9
Sounds Fing awesome, do it!
jonny2x4 0
If you can't shave for your man, do it for your kids.