Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was home alone, blasting music, dancing in my underwear, singing into a wooden spoon. I turned around mid-performance to see my landlord standing in the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the maintenance appointment I'd scheduled. FML
Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML
Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML
Today, I forgot the maintenance man was coming today for my sink. I was cooking and blasting ”Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?” by Rod Stewart at full volume while singing and dancing. He was laughing when I opened the door. FML
Today, due to an incident with the dishwasher, a coat rack and my bathrobe, I ended up locked out of my house, naked as a jaybird. I had to hide in the backyard for several hours until my family got home from their various activities to get back in. They still haven't stopped laughing at me. FML
Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom, my dad, Sarah, and Sarah's husband James making dinner in the kitchen. Completely naked. At 2 p.m. They weren't cooking anything to eat. FML
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Top comments
TheHam 2
Sounds like the begining of a pornfilm
KVKdragon 26
that's the first thing you do when you get the urge to be free of clothing: check if anyone's there. pretty obvious. even if you think no one is home, always check
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Comments (240)
69fistyourass69 2
was it the rain dance bby?(;
darkkai 0
at least he got a tip
PurpleFrostingg 7
ha. I'm sure he'll be coming back
corrinaswan 0
Great porno idea but how did he get in ur house or did ur mom let him in b4 u left
BaconDave 12
f-f-f-**** you God, I hate people who do that.
legonut6 0
YDI for being a huge ******.
DisappearingRose 18
Did he join?
ReptarSwag 4
when your done having sex with him pay in trident gum
nirvan5a 1
I hope you ********** door open!
TahoeFMler 22
If it's not YOUR house that YOU own/rent, then keep your clothes on in common areas! And if you're young enough to live with your parents then that drink you wanted to make better be virgin! I'm going to leave implausibilities with the plumber in the house and "she didn't know" alone....