Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML
Today, I heard the sound of footsteps in the basement. Thinking it was burglars I grabbed a baseball bat and hurried down the stairs. I then tripped on the stairs, fell down them and smacked my head on the bat. The sound of footsteps I heard? It was my cat playing in some cardboard boxes. FML
Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML
Today, I was listening to a true-crime podcast while taking a shower. Right as the narrator said, “And then he heard a loud bang,” my shampoo bottle fell off the ledge with a loud thud. I screamed so loudly, I apparently scared my neighbours, who banged on the wall. FML
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I was there with the lights out when something ran across my foot. I freaked out, tried to kick it off, and ended up smashing my foot into the side of the tub. FML
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Top comments
Seegtease 0
Why is your TV in a room with a tile floor? And if this was your bathroom, why was your bat handy in the bathroom? This smells.
meridith 0
At least it would have made sense if you smashed the RADIO with a bat.
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Comments (37)
meridith 0
At least it would have made sense if you smashed the RADIO with a bat.
rends 0
what's up with people using bats recently to defend themselves? use a gun, u have the right to own one; take advantage!
azn_pridee69 0
nice going sherlock.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
wait... who has a bat in their bathroom
jonan1212 5
this
HunterAlpha1 8
amen brother!
urie 0
lol retard
Melody_fml 0
HAHA that would suck!!!!!!
Seegtease 0
Why is your TV in a room with a tile floor? And if this was your bathroom, why was your bat handy in the bathroom? This smells.
d00d_c0m3_0n 0
maybe they had a bat in a hallway closet across from the bathroom, and one of those little kitchen tv's that got smashed.
ummmyeahhh 0
baseball/softball player... inexpensive tile in the living room... TV in living room... yeah, it could happen.
BeautyAndBrains 0
Why do you have a bat and a TV in your bathroom? I usually give people the benefit of the doubt, but seriously, this doesn't make any sense, unless you went to the kitchen or something, and grabbed the bat on your way there from your room or something.
bagsoffairydust 10
'ran into the living room' is a piece you might want to remember.
KenMcGormick 0
hmmm reminds me of this movie with a spoilt radio going "we've only just begun......" lol... and what coincidence that im listening to this song while reading this FML
jewbeans 0
lol
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
How stupid is it that until I got to the end of the fourth sentence I was like "he just grabbed a freaking bat? why in God's name did he have a bat?" Oh, animals vs sports equipment.