Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML
Today, I had a date with someone I met online. We agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. I got there early, ordered a drink, and waited. And waited. An hour later, I texted to ask where he was. His response? "I’ve been watching you from my car for the last hour. Decided you’re not my type." FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML
Today, I went on an online date. I'd spent a while getting ready and making sure I looked good. When I arrived at the café, I saw my date and approached with a smile. He stood up, looked me over, and said, "Oh, I thought you were your profile picture’s friend." Then left. FML
Today, I went on a Tinder date. He seemed pretty normal. Very handsome, and a complete gentleman. Turned out he's a white supremacist. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML
Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML
Today, I went on a date with this really cute guy from a dating app. He'd set the date and told me where to meet him. We met at a coffee shop, and he was an absolute gentleman. Five minutes after the date, I went to message him that I'd enjoyed myself, only to find he'd blocked me on the app. FML
Today, I met my online date at a café. As soon as I walked in, I walked straight up to the wrong person, and launched into a 2-minute ramble about how excited I was to finally meet him. He just blinked and said, “I’m married.” My actual date was sitting right behind me, albeit a similar but not as good looking man. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML
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Top comments
Airick_TheGreat 2
so I'm guessing the date went ok?
GigaPudding_fml 24
Well, were you offensive against the ninja community?
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Comments (262)
Airick_TheGreat 2
so I'm guessing the date went ok?
UnicornHunter 12
LOL
CasualZombie 6
that guy is my hero.
dolphincheddar 10
you have to also be drunk to understand what he is saying silly
CasualZombie 6
aww why the thumbs down? this guy not only can detect reincarnations of hitler, but he also has an alliance with the ninja community. sounds like hero material to me.
MsSoulReaper 27
Maybe he got nervous and got drunk to ease his feelings? But you have to admit he did say some funny things haha.
kcircuses2 4
I'm too drunk to taste this chicken
HowAreYouToday 34
hey everyone, I'm back!
enonymous 9
This guy stole my first date topics
NastyNinja31 0
chuck Norris checks under his bed for ninjas
dearbarn 0
haha
coffeygirl12 14
dont mess wit the ninjas (:
Kennzz 0
I don't understand how "1 in 5 relationships meet online" nowadays. that's some bs
Kennzz 0
I don't understand how "1 in 5 relationships begin online" nowadays. that's some bs.
Uneedanapbro 6
So why do you offend the ninjas?
HowAreYouToday 34
BWA HAHA
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
YDI for offending the ninja community.
AshorinaMoshe 10
Lol made me laugh what you said
adropofpeace 8
88- I would think the ninjas would check under their bed for Chuck Norris.
NastyNinja31 0
chuck Norris couldn't make it thru ninja training
Countrygirl5 8
hahaahahahahh
freshV43 0
F**k Dat b***h!!!
dolphincheddar 10
166. why would i "fork" that "batch"?
garrettsgirl 0
115 funny funny ;)
emmkaycee 0
145 - Chuck Norris invented ninja training.
katieklein 0
hopefully he wasnt telling the truth mrs.hitler. lmao.
J1hill33 12
so do you think OP has a mustache?
The_Weirdo 10
A female, ninja-hitler. Sign me up.
Absurd101 0
chuck Norris checks under his bed for me.
My_Name_Is_ 5
drunk people have a tendency to be telling the truth.... so are you really offensive to the ninja community?
BaconDave 12
I didn't notice you were gone 63
Sucked_In 6
Was he Jewish?
Osito2011 9
so you think their will be a second date
thefriendlyc 0
145 ninja training wouldn't make it through Chuck Norris
TheNewGuy03 29
this must be what happens when ninjas date pirates.
Jvr91 8
are you drunk right now? I'm just saying you could do better
UnicornHunter 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
LOL.
HowAreYouToday 34
LMAO
bigmanj28 0
ROFL
12em12 1
-insert laughing acronym here-
Ugi 27
I don't think your life expectancy will be very high if you go around offending ninjas! Sounds like you're well off away from him!
GigaPudding_fml 24
Well, were you offensive against the ninja community?
samuel96 3
never offend ninjas...seriously don't
theaws0m3guy 4
Of course! You think he'd lie about that?!
supimnyancat 9
if this comment gets thumbs up, I will name my son Pikachu.
edogy 0
I think what 28 was trying to say was, giggity giggity alrigghttt.
Skaw_fml 8
Why? I once, insulted the ninja community and I'm aliv-
getupstandup_fml 2
There is no such thing as automatic doors—they are worked by gentlemen ninjas.
Orcina1 3
nice one 71
NastyNinja31 0
were coming for u op
This2Rudy 7
hssss...
MsRandomKatie 0
the worst part is you won't see them coming.... literally.
neimato1 0
death is upon him O.O
ThatSceneKid1313 9
Don't juggalo's call themselves "ninjas" from time to time?
ColtsDoug18 0
you must be a pretty crappy Jewish ninja
muchagente 5
"nice guy i met online".... but did he explain the hitler thing? just curious.
latinjukes 2
"seemingly nice guy" is what she said
ifailplzinsultme 0
I'm sure she's so sorry for not adding "seemingly" to her comment.
zekecastro 0
ouch.
rebeldevil 4
clever response
zuzupetalsYO 11
wasted response^. lol I kid. I kid. how long did OP talk to this loser before meeting. bad bad idea!
crimsongetsu 0
if ur offensive to the ninja community u deserve it
kiran_fml 5
well then, I suppose there won't be a second date. unless you like rude ninjas?
Weetart 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hahaha that is an FMl indeed. No use dating online anymore. That went out the door with your drunken date. Try Ninja.HitlerDate.Com, it has helped cases like yours find the right guy. Good luck ;)
Vonneil 0
I bet it sucks to be you right now :P
allerz 0
Uhhh no... I would have been HAPPY he left