Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, a girl in my class turned around and said, "Wow, you've got your photo on a rubber! That's amazing!" The rubber was designed to look like a £10 note, and the picture was of the Queen of England. FML
Today, I was teaching a class when a student pointed out that I'd used the wrong "your/you're" while writing on the board. FML
Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML
Today, I was in English class when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said, "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I had to walk across the school with a plunger. FML
Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML
Today, I had to pick up my son from school because he was constantly talking about his "Giant pen." In mid-July, I got him a giant-sized pen (writing utensil) and he liked it very much. Apparently, one of the teachers had their mind in the gutter and thought he was talking about… you know what. FML
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Top comments
Gherto 0
Oh yeah, I used to confused by this from time to time back when I lived in the U.K.
Tygastyle 0
yes, the Beatles are totally still relevant to teenagers! they'll be around forever i think....i'll at least introduce my kids and yeah a rubber can be considered an eraser....it erases the chances of getting pregnant...?!
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Comments (165)
Gherto 0
Oh yeah, I used to confused by this from time to time back when I lived in the U.K.
aznbigboi168 0
hahahaha I'm from Asia...and yes, over there, they call erasers "rubbers" I've done the same thing you did when I first arrived in the US....so did my ESL (English as Second Language) friends. *sigh* those embarrassing moments.
iliekpie 0
My 7th grade science teacher told me that he did this when he came to the U.S.! This exact joke.
ProudNerd 0
When I was little we lived in England (dad's in the Air Force) and they called the erasers at school "rubbers." When mom heard me use that term, she told me that I wasn't allowed to call them that for this reason (though she wasn't very specific when explaining it), ESPECIALLY when we moved back to America.
Link5794 18
Over here, a "fag" is a derogatory term for a homosexual, not a cigarette, and is short for "******". The similar term "fagot", refers to a bundle of sticks, which would likely be burned, rather like a cigarette, or a homosexual back when homosexuality was illegal and lawmakers were stupid.
Tygastyle 0
yes, the Beatles are totally still relevant to teenagers! they'll be around forever i think....i'll at least introduce my kids and yeah a rubber can be considered an eraser....it erases the chances of getting pregnant...?!
Scorpitarrius 0
Ahahaha. That was good.
i8thelastcookeii 0
not really.
Eir_fml 1
you just made a different fml make more sense to me. it was about a rubber with queen elizabeth on it. I thought it was a condom and so it seemed weird.
cookiemonster144 0
haha actually since the royal wedding there actualy are condoms with will and kate on them!
jazzmin1997 16
I was thinking the exact same thing.
Tri_fml 5
#9 - roflmao.
twitteraddict 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
stupid yanks, not speaking proper english
rugbyhostage 0
couldn't agree more!
fairygirl88 5
lol! yanks! Canada is awesome:)
awesomeloser14 0
First off yanks -.- what in the world. Second what is 'proper' English there is no such thing, and if there is please do tell me what 'proper english'. Obviously calling americans 'yanks' doesn't sound proper because last time I checked it is called America not 'yankrica' proper indeed.
myundercoverlove 0
No, but you Americans do have a funny way of spelling English terms.
SiriuslyPadfoot 0
Considering there's a country called England, I think they have "proper English" as they were speaking it before America existed. And people in the south called Northerners Yankees. I'm sure you've heard of the baseball team.
steveakafranxy 7
131, thank you for disproving the myth that only Americans were prejudiced
myundercoverlove 0
I don't know how that was prejudiced. it is only a fact, colour- color etc.
yummcookie 0
'Proper' English being the original British English, not the bastardised (note: "ised" not "ized") version they use in the USA. Also, fun fact, you're not American, as there's no country called America, that's a continent.
spiritfang11237 16
United States of America located in North America. Commonly shortened to America, rather than United. States has been used as a shortening as well as US and USA, but no one I know refers to themselves as Staters or Statians or USers. Americans is the commonly accepted term for the people living in America.
_krystallynn_ 11
Hey dumbass, the continent is called NORTH America. we call U.S.A 'America' for short. Don't try and hold up an argument if you dont know what your talking about. k bye.
pechi_305 7
Ok. Um It is North America, however, there is such thing as South AMERICA and Central AMERICA so what are they? Also, the first "Americans" came from England so I believe they spoke the same. There is no perfect English just like there is no perfect Spanish or perfect any language.
summerguy97 16
Actually Americans also came from Natives, Spanish, French and Pacific Islanders... Although I guess the Natives would be the only one that can be included with the English as the "First" Americans. Also, what up with all of the America bashing? Our English is an evolved form, much like the English in Australia India and maybe South Africa.
that_band_nerd 22
Well if everyone wants to get technical here you go. English is a Germanic language made up of a crap ton of words with different origins. So no form of English is in any way a "pure" language.
regal 0
Similair thing happened when we had a kid move back to the US after spending 3-4 years in italy.
adam2 0
#24 anybody who says rubber instead of eraser isn't speaking proper English either. In other words: Stupid English not speaking proper English
ashapasha 11
If English originated in Europe how can it be wrong? Plus who the hell colonized the America's in the first place? Just because you guys changed the language a bit doesn't make what they say wrong. Read what #36 says cause that makes a lot of sense.
Fentown_fml 4
... having different slang does not make a language wrong- you're both speaking English Isn't it kind of ridiculous to get mad about the way words are pronounced or silly misunderstandings? :/
MaydayParade1476 14
Actually, Anericans don't speak proper English. Canadians-like me- don't either, but it's a bit better. People from England speak proper English, since that's where it originated from.