Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was home alone, blasting music, dancing in my underwear, singing into a wooden spoon. I turned around mid-performance to see my landlord standing in the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the maintenance appointment I'd scheduled. FML
Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML
Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML
Today, I forgot the maintenance man was coming today for my sink. I was cooking and blasting ”Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?” by Rod Stewart at full volume while singing and dancing. He was laughing when I opened the door. FML
Today, due to an incident with the dishwasher, a coat rack and my bathrobe, I ended up locked out of my house, naked as a jaybird. I had to hide in the backyard for several hours until my family got home from their various activities to get back in. They still haven't stopped laughing at me. FML
Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom, my dad, Sarah, and Sarah's husband James making dinner in the kitchen. Completely naked. At 2 p.m. They weren't cooking anything to eat. FML
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Top comments
TheHam 2
Sounds like the begining of a pornfilm
KVKdragon 26
that's the first thing you do when you get the urge to be free of clothing: check if anyone's there. pretty obvious. even if you think no one is home, always check
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Comments (240)
xcrunnergrl 0
hahaha that's really funny, but FYL for the surprise /: What did he sayy? lol
SugarCrazy 14
Probably something along the lines of "Holy f***! Am I gonna get raped?!"
SugarCrazy 14
Probably something along the lines of "Holy f***! Am I gonna get raped?!"
dolphincheddar 10
sounds like a good quality porno
OneBigMessUp 5
The dog in your picture agrees :L
MrHughJass 0
-insert joke about women in the kitchen-
etnies123 5
you have a fb? cute
LaughterofCorn 4
Can already hear that porno music cumming...
urdirtyolduncle 15
"Today, I went on a seemly harmless job of fixing a dishwasher down Spooner Street. When, all of a suddenly, a crazy, fully nude lady jumps in front of me and attempted to rape me, while having porno music in the back. FML." And that's the other end to this story
AviatorChris 0
you are super cute.
TheRealHouse 7
Well did the damn dishwasher get fixed or what?!
TheRealHouse 7
Today, after three agonizing days of malfunctioning due to the girl that lives in the house I work in cramming a fork in my drain linkadge causing the solonoid to overload and blowing my relay, the repairman was finally coming to fix me! Guess who scared him away, by dancing like a psycho... NAKED!!! FML
enonymous 9
Did you find the Sunny D?
theaws0m3guy 4
Sounds like the beginning of a porno! Oh! Giggity giggity goo!
Drigr 9
"can I pay you in sex?"
NastyNinja31 0
if op is fat **** his life he probably thought you were hitting on him
hotrod14 0
96 op is a her
zinoxity 23
OP is probably underage, thus he saw an underaged girl naked. I bet he enjoyed that.
Kennzz 0
Wouldn't the guy have knocked?? I highly doubt he just walked into your house.
Kennzz 0
so the guy didn't even knock? I highly doubt he just walked into your house.
wan21_fml 0
hahah A Style, I love that pic
BrokenDreamer24 15
91- Who else but Quagmire? XD I know I probably spelled it wrong, but I'm going off my memory.
chronicstds 3
the op never states if guy or girl.
ariannaa_fml 17
146- in the top right hand corner there is the symbol for the gender FEMALE. even if you dont know which sign is which, it is also pink.
Kennzz 0
how am I stupid?? many people below have asked the same question. someone had to answer the door..
mchakkiwala 0
point.
mchakkiwala 0
point.
mchakkiwala 0
point.
grapist 0
it's blue...?
blondebrunette11 4
haha ur pic is saying ur comment(:
knightsfb 0
176 ops mom probably answered the door and then left her daughter with him...
xstaticdelta 6
I hope they had sex cuz that would've killed the mood if she just put on cloths :/
ImaSexualTiger 6
Nobody ever pays me in sex :(
twlghtgrl 0
i'll payy you ;)
love0128 5
I'm sure he knows that!!
Kennzz 0
213 - why would OPs mom have answered the door? OP clearly states that she thought she was home alone until she found out there was a guy standing there that her mother didnt tell her was coming before she.. I dunno.. maybe left for work??
lorenzoman77 7
pics or it didn't happen
knightsfb 0
232 I think you misunderstood my comment...I meant that ops mom answered the door,told the guy to go to work, said she was leaving him with her daughter and left for work
Nekro_kat 1
101 your a dumbass... Re-read 96's comment-.-"
KVKdragon 26
that's the first thing you do when you get the urge to be free of clothing: check if anyone's there. pretty obvious. even if you think no one is home, always check
tylersign 11
Well, depends on the circumstances, eh? ;D
supimnyancat 9
sounds like a porno I saw earlier today.
supimnyancat 9
sounds like a porno I saw earlier today.
dgr8ing 0
don't you mean the cirCUMstances... yeah, I know.
jren207 24
Agreed. Anyone could be looking :o.
toastyjustice 5
like you?
jonn090 13
this makes me want to curb up in a fetile position naked and drink water
flockz 20
so the disher washer guy had a key to your house? sounds like your mom knows him well...
whatever222 3
#5- yeah that's what I say...who let him in??
Kennzz 0
yeah.. I'm confused. if she was home alone then who answered the door.?
noelykins1 19
ever think the mom knew her daughter was home and let the repairman come in before she left? and let her daughter watch him? plus the mom probably assumed her daughter would have clothes on.
swampbaby985 30
Maybe OP lives in an apartment complex and the guy coming to fix the dishwasher was the complex's maintenance man? At least that's how it is in my complex, if you don't answer they have a key to get in.
Taurusbaybe 8
Who doesn't like a nice view at work?
johnson94 5
boner patrol!!
robbiboyo 0
actually, usually fat people are self-conscious and don't like to be naked. I know a girl that wears clothes when she showers, or that's what she told my buddy.
Yodaevil 4
op should just acted like nothing was out of sorts, made small talk and went back to her room. repairman wouldn't know what to think!
blondebrunette11 4
what if they were both men...?
ifmlftw 0
lmao
ColtsDoug18 0
perfect sex scenario
8rabido8 11
sounds like the beginning of a porno
sematariux 7
perfect T-shirt avatar for this situation
Daederoth 10
Dear Penthouse...
nilin95 1
dude your pis is the shit.
laf1992 0
N'
idontcare8l 3
136 - no his piss is the piss
Riya2595 15
lol
LoveLife293 2
ANOTHER drink? i think hes had too much already...
hockeychick52125 0
lol that's funny :p
TheHam 2
Sounds like the begining of a pornfilm
shovels 0
lol
elisolauren 0
LOL it really does.
yomommma 6
True that.
skiier4life 1
I was JUST gonna say that...
norskchic 9
I like how this has 69 thumbs up;)
kaykay9080 5
I'd s0 watch.
BaconDave 12
I like how it doesn't anymore;)
Swooshbear808 4
or a **** star
Riya2595 15
how can we both be '6'?
Aztec44 0
Lol, why be naked?
FromdaBoot 4
why not be naked? try it sometime.
perrino123 0
breezes feel good
TheHoboWerewolf 0
Because it's random sexy-party time!!! :D
ariannaa_fml 17
41- you took the words right out of my mouth!