Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend was excited because her uncle was coming for a visit. She started telling me stories about him, and the more she talked, the worse it got. I’m fairly certain uncle is a cult leader, and that my girlfriend was born into and brainwashed by a cult that got shut down by the police. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend over to her first dinner with my family. My gramps spent the entire dinner telling my girlfriend how the Illuminati are plotting to take over the world and use microchips to control everyone. So much for being taken seriously now. FML
Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me the details for al-Qaeda's plan during 9/11 for an essay. I had no idea and she said she just expected me to know, since I'm "one of those people." I'm Iranian. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML
Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML
Today, I got a new roommate. I thought he was pretty cool until he mentioned how everything around us was a conspiracy. Then he asked if I knew how to make a bomb. FML
Today, I finally got to see my favorite aunt after months of her living far away with her new boyfriend. She now believes the Earth is flat, gravity is fake, the government is run by reptiles, and that vaccines are the devil themselves. She won't stop trying to convince me of her conspiracies. FML
Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what possessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to discuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
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Top comments
quincykid23 6
**** blocked by Osama? Never heard of that happening before...
Silly_Lilly6969 23
Sounds like y'all had lots and lots of fun...
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Comments (82)
Silly_Lilly6969 23
Sounds like y'all had lots and lots of fun...
Bloodjoker 11
30 minutes of ranting? You have ALL Night to seal team six her
quincykid23 6
**** blocked by Osama? Never heard of that happening before...
perdix 31
You didn't see "Zero Dark Thirty" then.
gc327072 31
You mean Zero Dark Dirty? Wait, did I watch the right movie?
natsaysheyyy 16
Well...he's probably not dead...
JMPercussion 6
Osama bin cockblockin
Wizardo 34
Nothing like conspiracy theories for a bit of foreplay... unless the illuminati is using **** to twist peoples perception of love and sex to control the desires of a society or maybe that's just me...
firefighter925 18
Hey that's a good way of getting people though lol
TeamKelly 10
Seems legit.
Wizardo 34
I saw it on the History Channel, of course its legit *indignant sigh*
feldco1 17
So if you we're there all night and she took up 30 minutes, there's still plenty of time to have that fun OP!
nemisis11 12
I clicked this one to leave the exact same comment, well played!
amifaiyaz 12
It happens. It might not have been the kind of fun you were expecting but it still sounds pretty entertaining.
perdix 31
Yeah, he and Dick Cheney are yucking it up in Wyoming over their 9/11 caper. I hear they're doing a lot of fly-fishing.
TheCutestLizard 28
She's right. I read it on the Internet so it must be true.
jem970 19
They can't put anything on the internet that isn't true!
PandaKitteh 20
And where'd you hear that? ;]
dandaman1457 7
The Internet!
gabe222 25
I have a date with a french model I met on the onternet too!
kyu_Q 19
Oui oui
gracehi 33
"Uuuuuh... Bon Jour."
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
Sadly, I've heard of many people who believe that. OP, I think we both need to hang out with some more intelligent people. :/
Megan639 16
Never bring up religion or politics.
YepThatsMeee 23
That's actually basic training for Europeans doing business with Americans... "Never ever discuss religion or politics with an American.
YepThatsMeee 23
19, politicians don't discuss politics openly. They just keep repeating their own convictions.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
"There are 3 things I've learned never to discuss with people. Religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin." -Linus van Pelt
jackiemora 18
At least she's a thinker? Yeah I don't know.