Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML
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Top comments
graycee7 0
that is so horrible. Dump her.
rainesan 0
Well, considering that 90% of nerve endings in the ****** are in the first inch or so of the ****** (especially near the opening) and the g-spot is only about 2 inches in there isn't really a need for a large penis...really a large penis would miss those most sensitive areas
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Comments (99)
idahovandalfan 0
This bothers me more than anything else on this site. I HATE women that complain about penis size. This is also directed at any guy on here that suggests he "grow a larger dick". This is not the OPs problem. Men cannot change the size of their penis. God gave us the body, and it's parts, that we have. We can't magically grow a larger dick. Penis pumps do not work and there is no such thing as a "male enhancement pill". Short of surgery, which is expensive and painful, there is no way to change the size of our penis. We are stuck with what the good Lord chose to give us. Women complaining about size are shallow and not worth any man's time. This is a product of the pornography industry. I watch **** myself and have a decent collection, but I'm realistic about **** when it comes to my own sex life. Pornography is an illusion. Women see **** and think that every man should be hung 10+ inches and should be able to have sex for hours at a time (with only 1 ******). Unfortunately, most men are lucky to be 6-8 inches and last 10 minutes in the heat of passion. If a girl wants some unrealistic scenario of a man hung like an elephant that will pleasure her for hours on end and in about 20 different positions then she needs to get into the **** industry. There's money to be made there and your fantasies will be satisfied. So you can go ahead and say that I am some sex-deprived geek with a tiny penis. I don't care. I am happy with the tools that God gave me. I've had my fair share of sexual experiences and my partners were not dissatisfied. One of my favorite shows is Nip/Tuck and one of the main guys, Christian Troy, is talking to his son about sex and he tells him, "A girl won't care if you have a 4 inch penis as long as you know how to use it." That is completely true. Plus, most girls won't care if you take the time and effort to make them feel good. Foreplay and oral sex are great things. But above all else, you must have confidence. This is a horrible FML. I feel sorry for you Mike, and I suggest that this girl might not be the best girl for you. There are girls who are much better and are not as shallow as a puddle. Find a girl who will appreciate you for who you are, no matter what kind of package you're carrying.
iTzSaLaD 0
so idaho... are you implying that the OP should grow a bigger dick? I'm lost. and there actually are free ways to increase possible poking distance, with obvious pulling or even jelqing. balooning works too but it can be dangerous
Captainshit 0
#9 FTW. Knowing your facts completely blows the shit out of ignorant idiots. My only advice OP is to gain some confidence, give this bitch the wrecking of her life, and then we she begs for more, tell her no. :P
il08ty 0
You shouldn't mind it too much. When she said that it doesn't necessary mean she doesn't like your dick. I personally prefer smaller ones over large ones- the big ones scare me. As long as she still loves you that's what matters the most.
firedragon64 0
#59 agreed, another one said he should shake the shit out of her...that would probably be needed. There would either be some walking out involved, or a strict "get the hell out of here" involved. You better have broken up with her...even if she "didn't mean it or just kidding" then she is one dumb person.
nazooer 11
Should have said something about her being loose and saggy..
CapnObvious123 0
Wow, I hope you left immediately after that. What a bitch.
abu3mair 0
OWNED!
myexsucks 0
#59...I agree. :) I don't think a lot of people realize that women get false ideas from **** too. But let's not forget that **** makes guys get unrealistic ideas about what women's bodies should be like (i.e. not every girl needs giant boobs to be hot). OP: I'm sorry. That's really messed up.
sonspeedy 4
You should have asked her how she knows what a small penis looks like and how many exactly has she seen?!
MetalCraze 11
stop bleming others for your small dick If she prefers a bigger one thats her choice how dare you ppl insult her because she has a preference? dude if your boyhood is small enough there is not a thing we can do with it not our fault. I guess it's okay foe guys to like big **** but if we don't think your 2 incher is big enough we are shallow? seriously get a dose of reality micro boy