Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was hooking up with a girl, but when she got my pants down, she got mad and left, saying she was gonna kill her sister who lied to her about me having a large penis. FML
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
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Top comments
AJ1981 12
Dude if you know you have a small penis your technique should be down on your knees eating trim like a mad man. If she is super into it she won't care about the size after she is hot and heated. Doing it with the lights out wouldn't hurt either :-)
Brightside86 31
Are these just like random tinder hookups? i can't imagine anyone doing that.
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Comments (4)
Brightside86 31
Are these just like random tinder hookups? i can't imagine anyone doing that.
AJ1981 12
Dude if you know you have a small penis your technique should be down on your knees eating trim like a mad man. If she is super into it she won't care about the size after she is hot and heated. Doing it with the lights out wouldn't hurt either :-)
RichardPencil 32
You'll likely have to hire hookers. Make sure you tip them well.
Lucky O'Guin 18
Are you short? Skinny? Both? If she's disappointed because you aren't 10 inches, she's just a stupid size queen. A lot of people are misinformed that a long schlong makes for better sex. This is NOT true. All the nerve endings that are stimulated during intercourse are located within the first few inches of the vaginal opening. If someone should be concerned with the size of anything, perhaps it should be girth, but definitely not length. In fact, all these people bragging that they will "bottom out" are stupid as well because that can be incredibly painful for women.