Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML
Today, my daughter got her first period. I'm the one shaking and hyperventilating. I'm more nervous for her than I was for myself back when I got my first period. I just now understand my mom while she was pacing through house back and forward when I got my first. FML
Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML
Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML
Today, I had my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
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Top comments
d00d_c0m3_0n 0
That's a little mean O.o So it's kinda funny from someone else point of view. Although hopefully instead of being nervous, you were just annoyed at her. So at least she took your attention away from your nerves for a bit x]
Amkii 0
#3 - I love you!! But yeah your mom sounds a bit mean about it! So are you a virgin, though? I mean, if you're not, then, it wasn't such a mean comment for her to make.
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Comments (34)
d00d_c0m3_0n 0
That's a little mean O.o So it's kinda funny from someone else point of view. Although hopefully instead of being nervous, you were just annoyed at her. So at least she took your attention away from your nerves for a bit x]
Amkii 0
#3 - I love you!! But yeah your mom sounds a bit mean about it! So are you a virgin, though? I mean, if you're not, then, it wasn't such a mean comment for her to make.
KeenanQuinn 0
Mom FTW!
Tri_fml 5
Rofl #3 = win
crazycar 0
If you're not 18 yet, then the only reason to go the gyno is because u spread ur legs. So.... If u r then.....
audiophileMom 11
That is such BS...
LordP123 0
Yeah...I don't believe this happened...like most of the FML's that involve parents saying things like this.
FriedChicken 0
#3, niceeee.
pandasrus87 0
#3 that's actually not funny at all... just because you have sex does not mean that having a procedure where the doctor swabs your cervix is not kind of frightening. So until you have to get that done, you shouldn't try to make smart@$$ comments about it.
daymann 0
douche with no life ^^
britannie 0
26, you're a douche with no life, not 18. Why can't she be nervous? Just because she's had sex doesn't mean she WANTS some creepy gyno stuffing their hands. up her vag. Dimmick.
NoodleBurger 0
it's a health procedure, you dumb ****.
martymcfly12 0
Fyl girl oh and #3 took the words out of my mouth he/she rocks
no_door 0
was it the first time you spread your legs? 0.o