Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
What just happened?
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Hand it over
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Nice try
Today, on the advice of several friends, I tried to de-escalate a stupid argument with my fiancée by kissing her. She slapped me senseless and whooped my ass up and down the house until I escaped to the car. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Bragging rights
Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Top comments
saIty 17
I think she just made you her bitch. Now go make her a sandwich.
perdix 31
Float like a butterfly Sting like a bee Now your balls Belong to a she.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (110)
jackcandle 10
*clap clap*
PerfasarusRex 3
That's just immature to A) fight in public and B) ignore her. You're an ass. I hope you're single now.
sk8rgirljj 0
That's why you don't ignore her. Maybe try telling her that you'd rather talk about that alone :) *claps for her*
Shrike 24
Yeah, and if it'd been the boyfriend premeditating this and punching his girlfriend out cold, you'd be screaming bloody murder. You're a pathetic piece of sexist shit who advocates domestic violence.
Dixbfloppin 11
Um, no, 44. Ignoring someone is a mature way of stopping an argument. Punching OP in the face for being ignored is way out of line and very immature of her.
Kog_Hiro 17
One was obviously being an ass so the other got pissed. I understand when you want to have a good time round friends, but ya got to handle your business with the girl first. Anyways... DAMN!!! She's a scrapper!
kitten1323 19
Nobody would be saying YDI if the roles were reversed. I think it was stupid of OP to ignore his girlfriend instead of talking things out with her. But she had no right to lay her hands on him. That's abuse, no matter who did it to whom.
amandajlucas2015 2
Um no 51 it is immature to ignore the person and most likely will cause the fight to last longer as it did the girl went off for thirty minutes and came back and punched te shit out of him.. If he would have pulled her off to the side an talked it out with her in private te matter could have been settled quickly and easily and they could have both gone back to having a good time
PerfasarusRex 3
No ignoring someone is a control thing. The mature way to handle it would have been to calmly discuss it at home before going out with friends.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Who said the problem started at home?
PerfasarusRex 3
Good point. If that's not the case then 58s advice would be the one to listen. Either way, the point was to discuss it in private like mature adults.