Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, on the advice of several friends, I tried to de-escalate a stupid argument with my fiancée by kissing her. She slapped me senseless and whooped my ass up and down the house until I escaped to the car. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
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Top comments
saIty 17
I think she just made you her bitch. Now go make her a sandwich.
perdix 31
Float like a butterfly Sting like a bee Now your balls Belong to a she.
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Comments (110)
Finnick_fml 12
.. did you really have to argue in front of your friends? There are better places for that; it's incredibly obnoxious when people scream at each other around others not involved in the argument, and it just makes it seem like you have no proper manners :I Be mature and discuss it at home.
KeyboardWarrior 10
It takes two to argue.
zachherbert 10
Even more immature to knock your boyfriends face in during the argument.
twisted_cherub 14
He was trying not to argue in front of their friends. That's why he ended up ignoring her. Sounds like she's the immature one--continuing to fight in front of others and then, when she realizes he's not going to be pulled back into the argument, she storms off (I'm assuming a girl like that didn't leave quietly) only to come back and use physical violence. This is not a mature adult we're talking about.
Octwo 16
23, I have met quite a few psych patients that disprove that theory.
KrazyKatz3 26
He could have told her "honey I know you're upset but we will talk about this l Are because it's not appropriate to argue in front of these people" but he completely ignored her when she was upset. Yes it is not acceptable that she resorted to physical violence but the OP is not completely in the clear
Deannie88 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She's a keeper!
Mioko_fml 6
She is just immature as he is, I don't see how she's a keeper.
Deannie88 6
Ever heard of sarcasm? Like anyone here actually thinks he's gonna stay with her...
Jaxx66 21
Ever heard of an "over-used meme"?
chellyX92 8
I can assume good time with friends is ruined?
emeraldisle 30
I feel bad for your friends. How immature to fight in front of them.
Blechy 2
Well isn't she just a peach?
speshlk37 13
Float like a butterfly, sting like a beeotch
br0ccoli 15
Girl power! That's what you get, dick.
TriflingAllDay 6
No.
fukthisss 5
You should of just asked to deal w/ the problem later, not just pretend she didn't exist.
MindFreakazoid 10
I believe you mean HAVE. Not of.
SamanthaCassieL 10
She needs to address issues at a later time, and you need to let her know it's not the time nor place for an argument... Tell her the issue will still be there when you guys leave the party. But damn, she did to you, what meg did to Peter after she came home from prison. She made you her BITCH!! You got knocked the eff out!!!
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
You're really childish if your way to end an argument is to just ignore someone. "You got knocked the **** out!" -Friday
KeyboardWarrior 10
He was trying not to argue in front of his friends. She refused to be understanding, he resorts to ignoring her. She throws a temper tantrum, he gets KO'd. She's the childish one here, not OP.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Rather than ignoring her, he could have took her into a separate room and told her this wasn't the time or place.
firecopy 6
He could have, but ignoring her doesn't mean the op is immature. He was just unfortunate that his girlfriend is immature and punched him in the face.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Grown-ups talk things out. Usually people who are old enough for a significant other have grown out of the thing that kids do when they put their hands over their ears and scream "I'M NOT LISTENING! I'M NOT LISTENING! LALALALALALA!". Theoretically, of course.