Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, on the advice of several friends, I tried to de-escalate a stupid argument with my fiancée by kissing her. She slapped me senseless and whooped my ass up and down the house until I escaped to the car. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
saIty 17
I think she just made you her bitch. Now go make her a sandwich.
perdix 31
Float like a butterfly Sting like a bee Now your balls Belong to a she.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (110)
Herculesninja27 5
You know how to to pick em OP
fthku 13
OP, you both deserve each other. Why would you argue in front of your friends, instead of either finishing the argument later or just going to the side for a minute. If you really had to do it in front of your friends, why ignore her? What are you, 11? Of course, she's definitely not right about punching you. You guys are a match! so that's good news at least, yeah?
JayElleBee 15
The number of people who think it's funny or good that she hit him is actually making me kind of sick.
afghaniland2010 0
The mature thing to do would be to accept the fact that everyone has differences and to not argue in the first place
PerfasarusRex 3
67- that's unrealistic. Everyone gets into arguments sometimes. The mature thing to do is learn how to communicate well so you can work your differences out when it happens.
satanisthesavior 21
Yeah, you totally deserved that for wanting to have a good time OP! /sarcasm Seriously, what the **** is up with the voters on this site? If you're having a good time and an argument randomly breaks out, then just continue having a good time and deal with the disagreement later. Unless it was because you ****** her sister or something...
Locoluis 15
No. The OP's good time was over. This was an urgent issue requiring immediate attention. He deserves to be punched in the face because he failed to be there when required. He chose to ignore the problem instead of deal with it. Anyone who chooses to ignore their problems instead of dealing with them deserves bad things to happen to them. Examples are countless. Me not fixing the staircase at home, this girl who posted a FML about breaking the clasp of a prom dress ( 19287255 ), the people who failed to maintain regularly the UPS system of certain hospice ( and whose ineptitude would have costed lives if someone didn't fix the problem in time )...
Factor_fml 6
Try to ignore THAT, OP. Don't let that punch spoil your good time.
lifeisoutrages 7
I agree with a previous statement, you both are childish. Perfect match?
Patrickstarfish 0
You=()
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
OP is a set of parentheses?
1soda1pOp1 6
Soo, you decided to ignore her to be with your friends instead of continuing your argument somewhere in privacy or agreeing to disagree. Sounds to me like you had it coming. Your girlfriend may be easy to ignore. Her fist...not so much.