Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Bored
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Libido
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Slacker
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Run for the hills
Today, and every time I don’t feel like having sex with my boyfriend, he audibly jerks off, and passively aggressively moans to try and guilt trip me into doing it. FML
Handjob
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
In the mood
Today, I came home early from work and caught my boyfriend jerking off. When I tried to flirt and say I could help him, he said he wasn't in the mood anymore. He hasn't touched me in months. FML
Gimme the D
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Top comments
bryanbntz 0
Soooo, why are you with him?
Emd0406 4
Break his hand.
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Comments (307)
Xxlaurahatakexx 9
Woah! What's wrong with you?!?
boydeee01 7
Doesn't matter, had se-, oh wait.
joooeee 3
Lolol that's like really funny!!!
rachelkoo 10
Were you doing it right?
FranzFerdinand 18
"What's wrong with him?" is probably the better question.
capper44 18
#28 you got smooth curves ;)
SoSickWithIt 14
^ My God, you're ******* 10x the creeper I will ever be.
boydeee01 7
Compliment=Creeper. Oh.
niznor99 6
112 is currently eating ramen.
mama2b3 20
There's not necessarily anything wrong with op. My boyfriend acts the same way sometimes and I usually just round it up to laziness and selfishness.
drlove78843 6
They don't call having sex - making love for nothing. love to your significant other goes up and down, depends on many variables.
thamack408 11
and is currently alone?
niznor99 6
169 is currently right.
duke56924903 11
I think what's wrong with her is her boyfriend.
mockingjaygirl16 8
I bet that's awkward.
TheEmoSuperman 16
just a question op, why weren't u madterbatong too? would have have showed him ;)
cobaltss06 1
Damn 138 ur beautiful so ur bf is an idiot. He should be smashin that every night!!!
kemando 22
Fool! That does not fall under the provisions that are required.
kemando 22
200 - Fool! That does not fall under the list of provisions that are required! But, true.
Yodaevil 4
If he prefers to do it himself, it's because she doesn't do it right. We men hear about it all the time and are expected to lean and fix it to satisfy our lady. (I'm still in training) maybe she needs to do the same?
dillingworth5 0
hahaha!
amberbby69 6
She should've started helping out once she saw him doing it. He probably just didn't want to ask her
ModernLightz 9
That sucks. Maybe he is gay?
crimsonprodigy 15
If anything I'm sure a lot of guys or even girls are free here :)
MerrikBarbarian 9
Actually, I'm gonna agree here. An ex of mine had zero interest in sex with me. He also acted very homophobic... I found out he had a bf, and had for over a year. He was only dating me to appear straight to his macho family. It happens.
Redoxx_fml 22
Or maybe he loves his hand more
XtraEzeee 8
People, people, the real question here is, is his hand a boy or girl?
viavocal 4
Sometimes you just prefer to do it yourself.
cinderella10383 6
Disagree with you. At no point in my life or in the lives of people I know have I ever heard someone say that! Nothing means more to a person then having a warm body please them
22cute 17
Um you might deserve that? I mean really, you gotta figure you're doing something wrong.
bryanbntz 0
Soooo, why are you with him?
ZebulonPike 8
There is more to a relationship than sex...
DjeePee 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah, but masturbating and therefore ignoring your partner's sexual needs isn't part of a (good) relationship either. Sex is not everything, but it is a lot. I can understand that people sometimes prefer masturbation above real sex, but it is incredibly disrespectful to keep doing it (in the same friggin' bed) if your partner made it clear that she/he doesn't like it.
_kfchicken 4
I hate your comments because they are always bias, no where in the FML does it say that she said that she told him doesn't like it. Also maybe he thought she was asleep or not in the mood so unless she told him about it and they discussed it their relationship is fine
niplipsip 9
74 - if the relationship was fine, why would op post this as an fml? she's obv got a problem with it. come on now, think about the purpose of the post. take deep breath, unbunch panties.
_kfchicken 4
The FML only specifies this happening one time, so I don't see this as a problem unless its repeated
SkoomaKi 28
I'm with the gas mask cool girl!
TuLegit 4
Agreed
sonuskos 6
93- Well in the last sentence of the fml I think that implies she attempted more than once
Every1luvsfmls 6
What?? "Even if I'm next To him in bed" is saying she's tryed more than once?
PapaSquee 2
31-that's like saying "there's more to a car than just gas". yea, that is very true, but you still need it to actually work.
DancinChikk 0
Nobody knows
SteveOsWifey 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
force him to have sex with you. xD
Mikko8 15
I think there's a word for that
alissaa16 0
That's rape.. My friend
Glitterhinoceros 14
Rape is not polite...
SteveOsWifey 5
i know what word but it sounds too rude :p
M0rt 0
It's not rape if you say "surprise."
Zomg_Okay 27
21 - So you can imagine the sheer terror I felt when I walked into my first surprise party. ;_;
zoPwNAgEzo 21
If you rape a prostitute, wouldn't that just be shoplifting?
sloanthomas 4
I feel like many people blew this out of proportion. lol
niznor99 6
That's hot. SURPRISE!
j_cat187 20
I'll get the ball gag, hand cuffs, the punishment paddle, the weasel, and the numbing cream.
philipino 24
205- I'll get the gun. Stay away from me.
ElizabethNL93 20
I agree #4. She should've took over for him ;) "Need a hand, Babe?"
Enslaved 38
Study what he's doing to himself, take notes and then practice 'til you get it right. Or just become friends and find someone that meets your sexual needs.
yummy_richkid 3
I can fulfill her sexual needs :)
yummy_richkid 3
By the way I'm gay and was just kidding.
Torva_fml 16
Don't try to justify your stupid comment! You're just making it worse...
j_cat187 20
#90 no you can't
Emd0406 4
Break his hand.
ThatOneCanadian 0
Thats why we were given two
SoSickWithIt 14
He won't be able to. His hands will be broken.
WCARlover 35
His hand knows what pleases him best?
Sumo69 9
You don't have to cuddle and after the deed is done either or don't have to listen to it going on about thing like, so does this glove make my hand look big.
Spazz420 7
All the thumbs up are probably guys! lmao
niznor99 6
Ah....we meet again my dear love.
WCARlover 35
Webslinger66 10
Why don't you play with yourself while he's doing that. Might be an exciting new thing you both do. Or he might just give you a hand.
cajekraze 7
That is exactly the solution. Either way, they still get off together
Ray_of_midnight 23
I like this idea. Seriously, there's nothing wrong with masturbating if you're in a relationship. Sometimes men and women just want some quick stress relief. But if he prefers his hand to you all the time...you guys need to work on that. Or DTMFA.
Fl9C1 4
You must be doing something wrong to make him do that. Try spice things up :)
Arxikist 3
No sex is safe sex, kids.
WCARlover 35
Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die.
ilikepanties 0
Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up. Just... Don't do it, promise?
androiddestroya 7
plus, a Wang in the hand is worth two in the bush...