Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I've ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
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Top comments
cacheson 42
Wow, blowing loads from both ends. That's really... a skill... that a person probably should not have...
SofaKing619 13
Damn that's nasty
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Comments (33)
RichardPencil 32
How did he get snot to come out of his penis? That's gotta be some kind of medical miracle! On the bright side, you have a new Urban Dictionary entry. Call it the Mississippi Wide Load, or something as colorful.
captainsmegma 12
Maybe this is one of those times when 69 should have been your position of choice.
alaina1104 11
Snot still would have been involved. Just... Not on her face
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
She'd never have seen it though.
tmj25789 23
That must have been a powerful ******.
cuz803 46
****** from his nose for sure
soulebelius 17
I accidentally drooled in my wife's mouth during ******.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Bad, but you exchange saliva when kissing so it wouldn't be completely new.
Thegoofygoober 15
Double Tap
Bengemon825 15
I don't think you can complain about snot if you're getting cum blown all over you too
creditless 14
hey u should be proud of yourself for causing that... most guys don't get to experience the very rare Unicorngasm...
mattwhite 13
Worth it
dansco 25
Next time get him to blow his load on your face so it can't happen again. Plus you have a cheap anti ageing cream lol
RuffDaScholar 16
He needs some tissue