Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, after going on a fly-killing spree all around my house, I had the most ridiculous nightmare where I was terrorized by a fly that looked like it was having a seizure whenever it was flying. When it landed on my arm, I woke up and felt a strange sensation on my arm. Great, I didn't want to sleep anyway. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Today, I was expecting lizards, spiders, and weird local insects in my hotel room. What I got was a cockroach on my toothbrush. A very tiny cockroach. FML
Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML
Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML
Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML
Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML
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Top comments
YacL 15
This FML made me shudder with disgust at the thought of it. I can't stand bugs.
tsim_fml 0
atleast it wasn't goo from your boyfriend's woodroach.
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Comments (124)
katems 5
I feel so sorry for you.. I think I would cry ;(
DaniBee420 6
ohh yuk!
snicole918 4
omg!!!! that's horrible!!!! I would have freaked!!!!!!
britnydisher 1
ewewewewewewew.
Cheez_Puffzzz 0
well, if your not made of wood im pretty sure it doesnt belong there :)
69_jackson_69 0
The morning wood roach? Those things are a pain in the ass, literally.
AnnabelBish3 0
Ewwwwwhh Omq iWud have Been Screaminq .. But Then Aqain It Wud Climb Into My Mouth .. Which Is Worse .. Uqhh>.
DalekScythe 0
that roach is a butterfly on the inside. :'(
igotswagger313 0
i like unicorns
sprkls6 0
that's so gross! like skin crawling