Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, after going on a fly-killing spree all around my house, I had the most ridiculous nightmare where I was terrorized by a fly that looked like it was having a seizure whenever it was flying. When it landed on my arm, I woke up and felt a strange sensation on my arm. Great, I didn't want to sleep anyway. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Today, I was expecting lizards, spiders, and weird local insects in my hotel room. What I got was a cockroach on my toothbrush. A very tiny cockroach. FML
Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML
Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML
Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML
Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML
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Top comments
YacL 15
This FML made me shudder with disgust at the thought of it. I can't stand bugs.
tsim_fml 0
atleast it wasn't goo from your boyfriend's woodroach.
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Comments (124)
ATSViper 15
I cringed at the thought of that happening....nasty
tayruru 0
I'd seriously cry and freak the **** out, that's horrible! ;A;
Chinnithy 0
Go back to sleep and dream of it being a butterfly again?
marmots 0
close enough.
Fohz 9
Funny that I was more disturbed by the thought of a butterfly stuck in her hair. I was sort of relieved to find out it was just a roach.
punkchica123 0
what...the...****?
xylanthrax 18
THE BUTTERFLY COULDVE GOTTEN HURT
Livinia 11
At least your dreams are pleasant.
lovedawg 0
You have bad dreams?
Keyman1212 14
Orkin will look out for those pesky motherfuckers driving around in your neighborhood in low riding chopped cars. Kinda like the police in nice neighborhoods keep the ethnic people out... Damn racists.
krysxkatastrophe 14
****! Time to whip out the Raid!
xCocobirdx 0
Omg, that sucks ;A; I would've fainted lol!
jameskills 0
Fainted? Id hate that more, think of it crawling everywere on u. :(
blinkingstarlet 15
omfg ewww... FYL but YDI for having roaches. gross I would have flipped the **** out!
blackxlinerxrun 0
even clean homes attract bugs, especially if it's been raining. weather has a lot to do with it.
nikki1118 0
wood roaches aren't the same as household roaches. they're usually referred to as Smoky Brown roaches. google it and learn something
btstig 11
your a dumbass. Ydi for having roaches what a ******* stupid comment. If you live in the south you learn to kill them bitches it's a way of life.