Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, after going on a fly-killing spree all around my house, I had the most ridiculous nightmare where I was terrorized by a fly that looked like it was having a seizure whenever it was flying. When it landed on my arm, I woke up and felt a strange sensation on my arm. Great, I didn't want to sleep anyway. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Today, I was expecting lizards, spiders, and weird local insects in my hotel room. What I got was a cockroach on my toothbrush. A very tiny cockroach. FML
Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML
Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML
Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML
Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML
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Top comments
YacL 15
This FML made me shudder with disgust at the thought of it. I can't stand bugs.
tsim_fml 0
atleast it wasn't goo from your boyfriend's woodroach.
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Comments (124)
jacobpotter 0
today, I was BORED
Skorne 5
Same thing happened to me, except instead of a wood roach, it was a tiny Velociraptor.
massnerder420 4
Lmao @ 43
smurfsarwales 9
me to!
MissTaco 7
Whats a Velociraptor? I don't know :P oh and FYL I don't like roaches either, I had a fed one in my fridge... :P
just_cr1s 4
I hope that NEVER EVER happens to me. I hate roaches with a passion.
budd28 0
FYL
Happiness2Joy 3
Did you whip your hair back and fourth? Because if you were Willow Smith you could easily do that and get the bug out.
ericamichelle521 0
Eww, that freaks me out just reading it. That's so ridiculously disgusting, FYL.
BadSuerte 0
I would have screamed, that's gross.
shakeTHEworld 12
OMG. I would have freaked out. I hate roaches with a passion. if god ask me which creatures he'd take to heaven, i'd choose the roaches so they'd be gone on earth!
Amburito 0
Don't punish the people in heaven with those vile creatures D: !
Mach10 0
A pleasant dream followed by a tasty, crunchy snack. Exactly how would you FYL? Pass the mustard!