Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my crush fell asleep on me on the bus. This would have been fantastic if I didn't immediately have an erection in her ear. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a cute girl I didn't know. She fell asleep on my lap by accident and I just let her for the whole train ride. This is the closest I've ever been with a woman. FML
Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML
Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus taking me home after a long hard day at work. I woke up with my head on a stranger’s shoulder, drooling. The worst part? The stranger was my crush from college, who I haven’t seen in years. Turns out we have the same bus route. FML
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
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Top comments
gogokira 5
gross bro
mintcar 10
Wow...how'd you explain that one?
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Comments (584)
gogokira 5
gross bro
bravesfan112233 0
was her mouth open?
Bobissmall 13
Lol. Gross indeed, why the hell didn't you move her head or something?? Still FYL...
rawyak 4
to bad she didn't suck... u get where I'm going with this. nice job OP!!!!
DropDead77 11
well played OP..........
bballpg021xx 5
that's a pretty hard situation to get out of.
bballpg021xx 5
that's a pretty hard situation to get out of.
rawyak 4
lol 71 "hard"
kofinater 3
sounds like the start of a pron
hannah1203 2
^ It's ****, retard.
justalilrandom2 4
Pron is a meme, just so you know.
Jvr91 8
it's not English class retard ANYWAY I would say it's my phone or just ask her out lol
kofinater 3
or its a simple typo, not a terribly large mistake. No need for the harsh words, that hurt :'(
ASHLEYbcddd 0
Chill brah. It was a typo
jrsgreenfire257 0
Jabbing, Great word :)
muin 12
Win
bobkim302 0
I agree! I remember those day 20 years ago
RinaRina 9
tell her you really had to pee? dosent men get boners on when they gotta pee badly?
Prankster7o7 5
^^ Morning Wood, haha.
brycereid 0
162 - no unless they have some weird penis or they arnt normal
bglad09 0
that's sexual harassment.
israelnotjacob 20
Uh, you should have just woke her up right when she fell over on you. If you knowingly let someone accidentally lie their head in such an inappropriate place like that then you deserve to be embarrassed. I hope she tells everyone in school what a pervert you are.
freelove_fml 2
175 - yeah, like you wouldn't do the same.
israelnotjacob 20
Uh no I wouldn't cause I'm not a pervert. I like sex as much as the next guy, but I also have some standards of right and wrong.
Sethyr 0
how is he at fault when she fell asleep on him?
FailBear920 19
I would have pretended to sleep
RookiePyro 0
175, No guy, nor any person really, would have woken her up. "Hey I have a cute girl who just needs a place to rest her head...EXCUSE ME MISS THAT IS INCREDIBLY INAPPROPRIATE, MOVE AWAY!"
victoriaax3 0
Ohmygod xD. #1's picturee wins LMFAO .
Spinnmaster 1
:(
beagle40 0
your life is chill bro
MrFlintstone 5
should have woke her upand said
MrFlintstone 5
^FAIL^ op should have yelled heads up.
roxana61 0
*don't and no they don't get boners when they have to pee
slipperyPengu 0
it's okay bro I do that same typo allot
EKL32 0
yeah
KasCiaYr 0
Why everyone is freeking out here? What is wrong with having a boner in this situation?
j_cat187 20
26 patrick is soo high XD
valalvax 13
I feel its appropriate to shriek uncontrollably about women not knowing the exacts about male anatomy here (in response to the boner when you gotta pee thing)
sammywhits 0
ahhh hahahahaha
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
agree!!
number1beaner 0
dude that's a way to give her a wake up call
michalch98 4
Porno. The way he phrased the sentence would be gramaticilly incorrect with just the word ****. Retards.
avatar0810 15
I would've like moved her up to my shoulder or something.
kool100794 0
stfu...
Seanie 0
actually, morning wood can be caused by a full bladder. obviously that's not what happened to op though.
Criminalle 0
actualy u sorta do. mofning wood is cause when u lie sideways ur bladder puts preasure on yur prostate which makes ur body think yur prostate is full so u get an errection. once u pee u relieve the pressure....some people with large bladdders can have that happen to them even when vertical
Hunts160 5
haha thats fuvking hilarious
TheWazBe 0
175 ever thought she just put her head their and he said ok?
ters19 10
#71 get it hard situation
Mikekenny 0
no
TheFection 0
Today, I was on a bus after a night of not much sleep. I must have fallen asleep on the lap of the guy I was sitting next to, because the next thing I know I'm being poked in the face by his woody. FML
cedarjay 5
You spell it pr0n on the Internet.
instantmusic 4
Dude...you're suppose to tuck the rock to the side in anticipation of that possibility.
jeter39 2
did u talk about the first thing that came up? lol
alexisss898 2
grammatically, you mean? who's the retard here? hahaha
longboarder95 0
I know really a cute girl falls asleep in your lap like any normal male would say something about it
sparklemuffin 8
ummm no you must be EASY and this is coming from a 14 year old :)
SittingInTheSky 6
#218. moving her head would've woken her up, she would most likely have seen the motherfucking boner and either got extremely embarrassed, slap him shitless or get down on him. most likely second option. suck on that.
EpicDiabetic 0
Grammar nazi
taticalnNinja 5
yo mann
noeyolivia 0
wow
country868 0
I agree wow
DarkHelmet 10
that is awesome!!
rawyak 4
dark helmet ur pic says it all
McLovin30 2
yo! o-o
clarissa_Gyall 0
whoa lol
Azarjan 0
I'm confused D:
mintcar 10
Wow...how'd you explain that one?
8r4d1ey 0
ding dang walla walla cheek bang!
supakassie 0
lmao!!
alliewillie 22
3 are you intentionally trying to look like a cheap prostitute? if so, nice job. to OP: sorry, that sucks, but you really should have shifted her off it if that happened.
IdontWanna69 8
"Oh hey you're up" See now that can be directed to either the girl or his penis.
elainelovesyou 7
90 - Win.
C6Racer 0
That sure caught me off-guard, 85.
morgs1213 4
106, how would that catch you off guard?? 3 is clearly playing that part.. though not very well..
BadasS14 0
haters gonna hate
sweet_blue 3
Lmfao good one
Heather_x0x0 6
85 are you intentionally trying to be a bitch? if so, nice job.
jrsgreenfire257 0
Gotta say, the banana in my pocket was haooy to see you.
JCBaseball13 6
you can rest ur head on my lap
C6Racer 0
115, I was referring to the photo.
Bullpine 11
but you know it's true 138
Pinson18 0
good call
clarissa_Gyall 0
jeez why y'all hatin? lord,who cares if the chic wants her pic like that? just mind your damn business!!!
SupermanXL 3
55's had me grinning during work break.
Skyblu10 10
138, are you trying to deny the fact that you also believe she looks like a cheap ***** and that your trying to make yourself look better by calling out the person who told the truth in a community where no one cares? If so, good job.
RiskiBusiness 1
I agree with 138!.
leeshxx 3
3, just wondering is that a pink ***** on your bed? it looks like it lol
RiskiBusiness 1
I agree with 138!.
kykyshay 0
oh my god, really what's the point fighting? is it really that big of deal? yall just need to chillax...
txgirl2013 14
I agree with 85-
iiNfAMoUs_KiiD 3
^ LMFAO !
EWM15 3
gh
beagle40 0
she shouldn't be on your lap anyways, she should be in the kitchen
kykyshay 0
I actually do kinda agree... if she doesn't want to hear crap being talked about her then she should put some clothes on. but it's her choice and her pic can be whatever she wants... preferably with clothes on.
herotime 7
299- you sir=win
5ad13g1rlO5 0
that exactly what I thought about 3, though a few other words went through my head.....
alwayslool123321 0
i agree with your comment a 100%
5ad13g1rlO5 0
that was toward 85....
JacksonHorton 0
85, are you trying to give me your number? if so go ahead
Tecca636 0
:)
mintcar 10
Woah. Haha. I think I may have posted this in the beginning of Physics lab, i don't know. I've been so tired lately that I'm actually starting to lose my mind with no concept of time. The comments are incredibly funny though. HAHAHA. Anyways, I have to study for my Animal Physiology exam. While you're all worrying yourself with what I have on , I'll be too busy trying not to care. Night. -___- Oh and the blue phone cover case comment made me laugh. ( Could've been on another post, idk. ) Peace.
leeshxx 3
mintcar I still wanna no is that a ***** on your bed?
j_cat187 20
damn 3
mintcar 10
It's not my bed and it's not a *****. Someone already explained to you exactly what it was. Ciao.
leeshxx 3
I think your seeing things as I see no explanation? and u pose like that on other people's beds... that's a bit disturbing
Yekutiel 7
haha
sarahgrace4 0
hahahaha loser control your penis
margie2194 12
please #3 cover up your breast. I might have nightmares.
mintcar 10
377, ever considered bangs?
leeshxx 3
395. ever considered buying adult clothes instead of kids sizes? or is prostitution not paying enough at the moment
somnopes 0
a was uupppp
WOLFEYES72 2
To friggin everyone, who the heck are we to judge number 3? We don't know her so stop being hateful and ignorant, sure she could dress a little more modestly. But damn if that kind of stuff bothers you go egg some pornstars house or something, they do far worse than just show some cleavage.
OneLittleAdditio 9
Mint you make women look bad. Ugh! First, because your wardrobe is trashy and disgusting. Second, you're just ugly!
laurbear12 3
harsh 85
laurbear12 3
416 you are one to talk haha
insanesna1l 0
while you are down there...
Heather_x0x0 6
hey, I agree that she is not dressed appropriately...
RedPillSucks 33
mintcar shows some mamorries and people go crazy. Give the girl a break. She looks fine. It's the first time she's shown a pic like that. I for one, am glad I don't have to rotate my head around to see her pic, and she's definitely not ugly. just stop the hate.
Claytonic 0
Damn. I was excited to read all these replies.
Heather_x0x0 6
LOL 478 me too damn it! hahahaha
j_cat187 20
aww removed
JojoChuo 8
That wasn't the only thong jabbing her, right OP ;)?
JojoChuo 8
Thing* dammit!
RiskiBusiness 1
I agree with 138!.
SittingInTheSky 6
lol 478 same but what a shame I'm getting positively HORNY with grief about it. Fucktard.
51194 3
ha! lol ;)
hectorrrr_fml 0
dude
Klums02 0
shoulda been like awkward turtle..
xFuZioN 0
you had your chance bro, and you blew it (hopefully not literally)
BlackOpsPWNR 0
no, she blew it..
bravesfan112233 0
was her mouth open?
ASHLEYbcddd 0
lol at your pic
zulma23 0
D:
ryanliechty 0
lol tht pics awesome!!
avatar0810 15
awesome pic and 68 you are beautiful
ncvolley123 8
I love ur pic!!! if she was pink she would look like a snorlax, like, seriously....
AceArctic 4
2 paths to take here... 1) I'd let her play with my pokeballs any day! 2) OP used harden. It's super effective!
fsu69 0
damn nice hog 180
KMilliron 2
Pokemon references for the win. If I were the innocent victim of this fml I'd use substitute and then flee... *It is physically impossible for harden to be referred as as super effective but I lawled anyway. :D
aiden2976 0
298, she had feelings but she ate them away.
WOLFEYES72 2
Snorlax is blue, think your thinking of Jigglypuff.
WOLFEYES72 2
Snorlax are Blue buddy, think your thinking of Jigglypuff
KMilliron 2
Shiny snorlax are just more saturated but if wailord and skitty can get it on, so can snorlax and jigglypuff!! HSOJA!
oA_Fiasco 8
lool!
clarissa_Gyall 0
uh...ew?
laxbro4769 6
Snorlax is grey nice try tho :)
mendozaale 0
nice wonder wat she was dreaming
FMLephant 2
She was dreaming about a toothpick stabbing her cheek.
hunterfreed31 0
^^win haha that made me lolgasm
xXxXxMasonxXxXx 7
thts sooooooooo embarrassing, but u shoulda thought of something else, like old nasty gross nuns :DDDD
llamagangster 0
Oh... You aren't attracted to old nuns?.... Oh..
ubetrwatchBN 5
Sandwiches. Always works for me. lol Or Drew Barrymore...<shudder>
xXxXxMasonxXxXx 7
not the really old nasty ones
NBS93 0
If I try to think of nuns, they always end up as stripper/lesbian nuns.
KMilliron 2
Nun thoughts make me think of sabotaging catholic schools and those thoughts always include nudity. Luckily I'm female so I don't get boners.
85bobcats 0
dead puppies.. just keep repeating it
dhwig 0
446 and 449... WIN!
epmorr2010 9
try Rosie O'donald cuz that's a good safe word for either boy or girl
Cyrus00 41
Sandwiches just get me going even more.
sayHellotomyKitt 0
nice. :) obviously she was comfortable with you enough to fall asleep on you.
bggg 0
WAS.
blueglue 0
Or she was dead tired and couldn't help but fall asleep on some horny teen boy.
omfgfmlisgreat 2
Who said OP was a teen?
Naomiiiii 0
He said he was on a bus trip with his class, the last time I was on a bus trip with my class was when I was in high school. But I guess he could mean college..
sayHellotomyKitt 0
or she knows she's cute and wanted to wake up to a boner on her face. this is the obvious theory.
MEF62 5
No, obviously she's a **** who doesn't mind putting her head in an incredibly inappropriate place while at school function!!
tygerarmy 35
Women do stuff like this on purpose. To avoid accidental boners I offer to sit on my female friends laps. But when they do sit or rest on my lap I focus on other things. But some chicks have to go for the penis, they just want to see if the guy likes them and go out of their way to touch their guy friends penis. And ladies should have a rough idea where on the body the penis is located so if they don't want to send mixed signals or have it jabbing them, they should avoid contact with the area.
Alicia17C 2
lol at the **** part. she shouldn't have been "sleeping around".
ivanoff 0
win^
dragonstrike94 8
Not anymore
stevenJB 25
She probably fell asleep sitting straight up and the bus took a left turn, causing her(still asleep) to lay on him.
gryarya 0
dude just push her on your shuldr
Rashadd 6
I wonder Wat she said when she woke up??
justalilrandom2 4
I'm up. Oh, wait, so are you...
damian777 0
haha ^
BayBeezy 0
I dont think she was sleeping
dragonstrike94 8
Ooh look a twzzler