Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Good boy
Today, I was walking my dog through a park with a lake. My dog was swimming in said lake, and then appeared to be having trouble keeping his head up. I put my phone and keys on the ground and waded to my dog. He was fine, but I turned around in time to see someone run off with my stuff. FML
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
Bad boy
Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML
Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML
Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML
Thanks, Dave
Today, I opened the door to a delivery girl with a towel around my waist as I was just out of the shower. My dog was going crazy at the courier, and when she handed me the touchpad to sign for the package, my dog decided it would be a good idea to pull my towel off. FML
Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML
Top of the mornin' to ya!
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Bold move
Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML
Top comments
dweeds508 24
Holy shit, was it ok???
Pike313 14
Sounds like a ruff situation
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Comments (126)
dweeds508 24
Holy shit, was it ok???
confused_wandere 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
The dog is not an "it". They are a he or she!
dando0405 10
Yeah but they don't know the gender
friedpwnadge 25
Amazing the amount of stupidity present in this thread. Hopefully OP's dog didn't jump off on its own because then it would be an idiot. If the boat was going fast it might have gotten tossed around.
sstahpp 33
@15 chill the **** out and worry about the problem at hands.
DragonflyM_fml 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Thanks for stating the obvious #15
DragonflyM_fml 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Your empathy is astounding.
confused_wandere 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I really don't know why so people down voted me. I feel so sorry for that poor dog. But calling them "it" makes it sound like they are just a thing, just a possession, not a beautiful living creature.
DoomedGemini 38
Look, I'm a huge animal lover planning to be a vet. If we knew the gender then maybe your concern would be valid but considering we don't, it's not. Most people refer to an animal as an it if they don't know the gender. If they automatically said he would you jump down their throat for being 'sexist' assuming it was a he too?
Rkikkas9713 25
#35, Please explain to me how you know the sex of that dog, and how miraculously calling something an 'it' is insulting it and not just using the word for the lack of a better term.
mds9986 24
45 - that is actually incorrect. If you don't know the gender or aren't being specific to a gender you use "he or she." That's the grammatically correct way to do it. Look it up. If you don't believe me "It" refers to a gender less object.
wildmagicrose87 10
next pet I get, regardless of gender, will be named "It," because of this entire conversation.
MrSassypants 34
#59 While you are correct that saying he or a she is grammatically correct, that is some SAT level grammar shit. To be honest, I think t's okay to be grammatically incorrect if it makes more sense. Saying "the rat the cat the dog chased killed ate the malt" is grammatically correct, but it doesn't seem like it makes sense. It means that the rat ate the malt, was killed by a cat, and then the cat was chased by a dog. Now that makes more sense. Like the Beatles said "she may be a lover but she ain't no dancer." I'm not going to correct the Beatles on their grammar; that song is amazing as **** and I know what they mean.
gordjess1 19
Look I'm a huge animal person but it's really not an issue. No one knows the gender of the dog. It's not degrading in anyway just like when your pregnant and go ' I wonder if IT'S a boy or a girl'. Literally what you've said makes no sense whatsoever. I wonder if it's a male or female dog. Same shit.
Divine_Mamma 11
Ok then #35. Holy shit, was the beautiful magnificent fabulous beast sent from heaven ok??? Is that better?
tdawg91 17
I can't believe that this is actually a conversation right now
MrSassypants 34
#91 This is the internet. Everything is a conversation. From a dog being called an "it", spaghetti as shoelaces, to masturbating dinosaurs.
mds9986 24
66 - saying "he or she" doesn't make any less sense than "it." That's entirely irrelevant. Simply giving somebody knowledge on something that is wrong isn't a bad thing. It's funny people will down vote and pretend they were insulted instead of just saying "hey, I learned something new."
be82tw 17
@118, no one appreciates pedantic grammar lessons of dubious value. Not even on the internet.
Pike313 14
Sounds like a ruff situation
logicnazi 18
"Ruh-roh"
psychopolarbear 28
It sounds like the owner was barking mad about the situation.
Astrobomb 21
??????
Hildy93 21
Take a lap #43
20bricks 28
I'm guessing now he's a sea dog.
Pandacupcakelove 26
You mean a seal?
remometol 16
Probably..... Lots of countries call it a sea dog, and he was trying to be funny. Wouldn't have worked if he had said seal (not saying it worked in the first place).
Pandacupcakelove 26
Sure it would. Seals are dog mermaids
cutycat136 28
Flew off or jumped? My dog loves to try and jump off the boat whenever we take her out
CommentKing207 23
Yeah I thought it meant jumped... Hope it meant jumped.
bdsmslave 18
Well, with a nickname like that, I'm pretty sure the dog jumped to get the hell away. And now I guess the Beliebers are going to have my chops for breakfast. Sorry, peeps.
devildog562 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Dude **** the dogs life . Poor dog. I hope the dog isn't too traumatized, and you make sure he's more secure best time .
confused_wandere 26
Why is this being down voted? It is completely true.
devildog562 33
Cause I was late to say it . Welcome to the fickle mob that is fml society . Don't worry I'll only lose a few days of sleep over it .
Woedel 25
There there, the awesome FML community fixed it. Sweet dreams!
thejonac 21
i honestly think that's even more cause for worry. is he alright?
jonjonguapito 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
All dogs go to heaven. Stupid frickin owners dont.
RenoTheRhino 30
These comments remind me of a Jim Gaffigan show in which the topic is ASPCA, and Gaffigan, imitating the dogs, says, "Calm down, Sarah McLaughlin. We are just dogs."
Zebediabolical 45
That's not how you get your dog to waterski!
CommentKing207 23
Most dogs love water. Let it be.
CommentKing207 23
Oh my god I read it wrong! I thought it meant just jumped out into the water. Hope your dog is OK though.
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Sorry Biebs.