Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my boss a nickname. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately, "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML
Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML
Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML
Today, I called my coworker by the name of another coworker, and now he won’t speak to me. They’re both bald and roughly the same weight and height, so it’s not like I can easily tell them apart. FML
Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML
Today, I learned what my office nickname means. My nickname? Butterface. FML
Today, I accidentally called my cute boss "Babe." I now have to pretend it's what I call everyone, and start calling all my coworkers "Babe." FML
Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML
Today, I realized that since I was in elementary school, my friends, my workmates, and even my family, all call me accidentally by someone else's name instead of my actual name. I'm 30 years-old. FML
Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "Sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a little person. FML
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Top comments
abluekiwi 0
Gotta admit it's a FYL, but also pretty funny.
FMLandurstoo 9
"Size doesn't matter!"
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Comments (230)
Lulicah 3
Little D!!! (watch AVPM/AVPS)
TalkinSmack 6
are u upset because it's true?
candycombustion1 0
everyone's in middle school again....
purplekittayy 0
WORD
purplekittayy 0
WORD
purplekittayy 0
WORD
Iswear 4
While this sounds fake because I've heard a joke like this before, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt. FYL.
stewpididiot 11
why couldn't it Rick and Richard ?? you should sue for sexual harassment...
Ranimal 12
Since sexual harassment claims are no big deal... It's just a nickname, not worth getting people in massive trouble just because you don't like the name. STFU. Get over it crybaby.
cradle6 13
Women can win sexual harassment claims for jokes told in the office, and other things that are "no big deal." If it bothers you OP, go for it.
TalkinSmack 6
lol sue? quit wasting valuable court time for your petty hurt feelings. that time could be more efficiently used for something that actually matters... molesters, rapists, murderers etc. suck it up u whiney baby
dedanjel 33
You do realize sexual harassment doesn't get settled in criminal court, like the other things you mentioned, right? That's a civil matter, settled in an entirely different courtroom with judges who don't try criminal cases. If you're gonna use something to put someone down, make sure you're at least using something that isn't an entirely different and completely unrelated matter.
sylverdrag_fml 9
It's pretty clear they don't respect you, and that sucks, but most likely, you have something to do with the lack of respect you get. Try and figure out why they don't respect you, and fix it. If the reason is that your boss is an A-hole; screw him and get the F outa there.
kingnate16 0
at least it's accurate
kingnate16 0
because he's the short one
BWill9014 4
Sounds like the perfect script for an extenze commercial... lol
RockstarRN 10
Ya, because that's professional!
OfficeNinja 5
better than "stubby dick" or even worse "dog dick" or "deformed right angle dick" or "micro dick". you get the idea. you can complain to HR if your company is large enough.