Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML
Today, a girl introduced herself to me with the line, "Hi, I'm Anna. I have a boyfriend." FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. A couple of cute girls started talking to me, telling me how much they liked my dreads. Seeing this, my mother stepped up next to me, patted me on the shoulder, and said, "This here is my little baby, treat him nicely!" Thanks, Mom. FML
Today, our little family business was asked to do a presentation at my daughter's school. When we got there and I saw her, I waved to her happily but she totally blanked me, plus my super strict mom smacked me on the back of the head for embarrassing her by not acting professionally while I was technically working. FML
Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a school, as I walked past the swings these two girls smiled and said "wow, you are so pretty!". I smiled back and said "awww, well thank you!." As I walked past I hear them laughing, "she actually believed us." FML
Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML
Today, the girl who tormented my life for nine years was hired at my part-time job. We're assigned to work together on a three-month-long project which will involve tons of communication. FML
Today, we've been dating for over three months, but I went over my girlfriend's house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML
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Top comments
adropofpeace 8
Well, someone knows what she wants in life.
Azull_fml 8
Like a boss.
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Comments (77)
adropofpeace 8
Well, someone knows what she wants in life.
NYC_Yoshi 3
like a boss
iSitt 0
she's got ballz. she should find a nice submissive husband.
NomOnShroomz 14
Obviously not cause she hasn't me me... Damn, I feel like a pedophile now...
kendallwendall 0
well she learned it from you haha like mother like daughter. way ta be
theaws0m3guy 4
That is a WIN!
Truth_Nazi 0
She's be an abusive stripper. sorry, I'm good at predicting the future
herrobear 0
You deserve it for being a good mother and instilling a sense of ambition in your daughter.
markymark1429 8
hey! don't talk about Mary like that
canttouchthis90 0
is her name Stewie by any chance?
moey907 2
that's not an fml :)
lmfao1643 3
It is cause she thinks she will be allowed to leave the kitchen.
lowshadows 21
ha ha ha! that's just sweet, way to make a first impression. Did she tell you about her future job?
ahhhFYL 0
of course. she's gonna be BO$$.
lmfao1643 3
Poor thing thinks that she will leave the kitchen....
blueandpurpleroc 4
what a girl! atlas she's got her future employees in place. (;
blueandpurpleroc 4
*alas my bad.
humzizzl3 0
Okay so what's the Fml about ?
boyguydudemalema 0
That's what I'm wondering too! It would be an FML she wanted to work for the boy.
FVSimon323 0
can't get mad at her. she's ambitious. 2nd
Crlnprz 11
it's okay you're actually first.. at failing
Offensive_fml 4
Magnificent daughter!
Rosehart 10
This isn't a FML, she's awesome!
Calyx_fml 22
She's gonna be a pimp.
iLazy 0
Does the term 'pimp' apply to male prostitutes?
SteelCladAngel 0
pimp can be male or female though technically it's a 'madame' who sells the services of prostitutes lol
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
what the **** no she's not, did u not get the FML at all? if your being sarcastic it's not funny...
YacL 15
52- Da hell you talkin' about?
rvontr88 21
OP that shouldn't be an fml at all!!! that's AWESOME!!!!