Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was teaching my two year-old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML
Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML
Today, my daughter has an ear infection and hasn’t slept more than 15 minutes a night for the last three days. Well tonight she was finally asleep, but I needed to take my own tablets. I had a violent coughing fit while choking on them, and woke her up. FML
Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML
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Top comments
Sourcow 0
She's gonna make a great mom :)
Some___Guy 0
The last sentence is great!
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Comments (34)
Sourcow 0
She's gonna make a great mom :)
SokDek 14
hahah... kids will be kids...
tWitt3rBuG 0
Hmmm, potential doctor? L0l
tinkerbell1357 0
aww she must be adorable cuz she sure is bad!!!
marrrrgo 0
hahahah awwww
H3avy 0
lol
KwitIt 0
Ohhhhhh no! See a doctor right away and keep stabby things out of her reach! Lol!
Metzler31 17
stabby things? lol
AJComix 0
The solution is, BBQ. Menu? One toddler.
marcosfml15 0
perfect.
ShorTiE4LyFe 0
baby back ribs anyone? (Lame puns RULE!)
RavuAlHemio 0
YDI for having had a kid.
Some___Guy 0
The last sentence is great!
ditlihi 0
WTF man? Was there like blood coming out your ear, too? OMG!!!!
Stacia 0
FYL, but where was her mother? Wasn't she watching her if you were napping?