Mystery

Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML

Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML

Today, my dad decided that he shouldn't have to wear clothes in the privacy of his own home. FML

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML