Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized Build-a-Bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear, "We should break up" instead. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wanted to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML
Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML
Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML
Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year-old boy, and an 19 month-old girl. I was chasing them around the house, having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change, the 3 year-old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
Today, my daughter's boyfriend came to the house to pick her up. As a responsible father, I had an evil plan to torture the boy who dares date my girl, but my wife preempted my plan so during his short visit, she stood behind me the whole time with her taser down my buttcrack in case I acted up. FML
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Top comments
unknown_user5566 27
Why would you continue with a gift idea when someone is telling you not to? Granted, you could not have known the bear mauling bit. However, you seem like one of those annoying gift givers that buy things according to what YOU think a person should have.
nothing92x 13
I'm guessing OP couldn't bear the thought of not making the Teddy for both of them.
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Comments (144)
Valefor197 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's not like you could have known that.
sirsquab 12
She couldn't have known that he was mauled by a bear. However, she COULD have known that getting a build-a-bear for someone when you're specifically told NOT to, us in fact a bad idea. Also, I'd also like to know who "she" is.
TahoeFMler 22
True, however, her daughter told her not to do it.
walmartpaysme 15
It seems you and OP have something in common, #1. Neither one of you paid any attention to what her daughter said.
lovelyheadache 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Because a child controls the parent right? I didn't think so. The daughter should've told OP why, it would've been much easier.
walmartpaysme 15
100, if someone doesn't want something why would you spend money on them? You may as well flush a wad of cash down the toilet. When it comes to gifts the receiver always has a say no matter their relationship to the giver. OP's daughter said no. That should have been enough for OP.
Roevera 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's says this FML hasn't been rated on my phone... I'm number 1.
subiedude08 17
Wtf
Rallred32 20
OP YDI for being stubborn
Nekogami 14
Er. Who's "her" ? Lol
unknown_user5566 27
I was wondering that as well! Hopefully the mods fix it soon. Sirin, where art thou?!
herpderpherpderp 13
probably referring to OP's best friend or enemy, because OP knew about thing wit her enemy's boyfriend! but 'her' is probably a close friend.
unknown_user5566 27
Why would you continue with a gift idea when someone is telling you not to? Granted, you could not have known the bear mauling bit. However, you seem like one of those annoying gift givers that buy things according to what YOU think a person should have.
ICastillo 25
This guy would be terrified of Ted.
SMD_emilyy 1
That still seems like a really bizarre gift to give her "new" bf. ydi
sierra142 19
When specifically told not to do something, why go ahead and do it? I really struggled to make sense of this FML.
foshizzle82 7
Same here. Don't know how it got past the moderators.
ninjadinos 14
...this makes little sense.
nancyschmancy 9
This is a very weak FML
inky_bb 1
Are we meant to know who 'her' is?!
nothing92x 13
I'm guessing OP couldn't bear the thought of not making the Teddy for both of them.
Lalo16 6
Sorry but I couldn't help but notice Dudley as your profile pic. He was always my favorite character from SF 3rd Strike :3
chels2AM1R 9
Am I the only one confused by this FML?
sofiq 3
Who?? What? I am so confused! I read this like 3 times and still didn't make any sense! =O