Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML
Today, I went to my cousin's farm with my family. First I was pooped on by a goose, peed on by a puppy, bit in the face by the mother dog, fell through the floor of the barn loft, and without knowing it was electric, rested my hand on the horse fence. FML
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out!" FML
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, I broke my wrist when I got into a disagreement with a horse. FML
Today, our landlord came over to chop down our cherished apple tree. While doing so, he ate one of the apples, concurring that they really did taste excellent. FML
Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML
Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
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Top comments
BunnyRose 11
horses these days. smh
Damian95 16
A pun like that? I say neigh.
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Comments (139)
omgjustno 7
At least your family didn't come out and scream at you for horsing around
McNikk 15
...no
TheCanucklehead 22
Oh snapple that pun was bad...like this one
Damian95 16
A pun like that? I say neigh.
soccerstar1996 18
This reminds me of the seagulls that come and attack you for your sandwich at the beach
RoboCunnilingus 23
The mane thing I learned from this thread is you can say these puns until your throat is horse, no one will like them.
DrDorian 7
you suck hahaha
bfsd42 20
Canucklehead, I have noticed that 95% of your comments are replies to the first comment. Are you seeking attention? Scan through random recent fml's and this trend will be very noticeable.
ohcheriecherie 20
85 why are you working so hard to collect evidence of some dude's comments
Pinkgal123 24
81. Your an idiot.
CountEjacula 8
92. Says the dumbass that can't use the correct form of "your" and "you're".
Tootsieroll0505 19
That must've taken you a while to think of
LindsayxMoore 18
I have to say op that sucks but the imagery of it is quite funny.
ErinPinelli 24
Why does this have so many negatives haha @#1
BunnyRose 11
horses these days. smh
SlapAndTickle 20
Poonikins the warrior princess strikes again. YouTube it, you'll thank me later.
NeatNit 33
I hate "smh". This is probably the 5th time I've had to Google it because I couldn't remember it meant "shaking my head"... doesn't even look good. it isn't fun to pronounce like lol or rofl, and even spelling it out doesn't flow like FML does. the whole concept would be better represented by a text emoticon.
horne2 9
To this pun, I say neigh
horne2 9
That was supposed to be on comment one
monnanon 14
its simple. horses these days simply dont know how to discipline their foals. in mt day horses never mugged anyone because horses werent afraid to beat their foals asses. i fear for this equine generation.
SeedlessMe 13
31- thank you for saving me the trouble of googling that yet again. & I must say, I completely agree
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Every time I see "smh" I think of an ex girlfriend with the same initials.. Smh..
ILoveMyArm 15
I always thought it stood for scented mucus hammer. Huh, odd.
LordoftheOcelots 10
No it stood for sly malicious horses
gemstone586 12
I always thought smh stood for smack my head, like, face palm... That makes more sense, imo.
ughnotthatgirl 9
I'm crying "smh"
Heaven121313 9
second
LissaMccracken 23
Third, actually!
zomgbies 17
failed!
lickastick 27
No one cares
Heaven121313 9
i dont either. i like how much it bothers people.
whiteboy896 9
Guess who's never going back to their cousins farm?
rocker_chick105 31
You?
whiteboy896 9
I grew up around horses, i know when you here something standpeading you do a 360 and get the hell out of the way. so of course i would go back.
CammyGal 26
I don't know which way to thumb 96's comment. On one hand that was the stupidest thing I've ever heard, but on the other, I can't stop laughing at 'standpeading'. Also a 360 would just make you run right back into it so ????
buckeyed 20
the "turn 360 and walk away" is an old internet meme/reference.
bluerhhajfk 17
Hay, that horse was just an ass.
lopsop 12
That was so funny I forgot to laugh
King_paradox 22
#5 if it was a donkey then it would be an ass. A horse is Sarah Jessica Parker
lickastick 27
HAY that wasn't nice
lickastick 27
Damnt #5 beat me to it
OnlyTheDarkest 17
I'm sorry but when you think you have to put the main part of the pun in caps for people to get the joke, it obviously isn't a very good pun.
untouchable763 10
Stealthy horse wow
M3DIC4T3 29
Horses are bad people.
Andr913 13
Once my sister was holding an apple near a horse in a field and the horse started banging itself against the fence trying to get the apple. It was actually pretty terrifying because the fence looked on the verge of breaking.
BadApple88 29
The horse was just hungry
queerchristian 5
No, it was a jerk
Noremac42 8
An apple a day...
davincidasecond 24
...Keeps the horses coming your way.
Inked0803 12
That horse is a genius he saw what he wanted and went after it
Welshite 40
I use that same thought process when I see a nice car parked on the road.
ocramavaf 15
as the great Capitan Jack Sparrow said "Take what you can, give nothing back!"
audreyfml1994 15
I'm glad you weren't seriously injured.